Not so adventures of the St. Clair clan...

Once, when the boys were like two and four, I let them put a couple of dozen stickers all over my face and hair.  They liked that I was playing with them, and aside from having to peel stickers off my eyelids and hair later, it was ten minutes of bliss.  My job: sit down and have some of my own thoughts while they happily practice peeling and sticking - no fighting, no one asking for food, no bottoms needing to be wiped.  I'm in.   Yesterday, with four kids all piled on my lap at the same time, I considered using Amazon Prime to get a quick sticker delivery.  I needed a minute.   You don't realize before having kids, how much they own your body.  I mean, there is the whole pregnancy thing, obviously.  And nursing.  I'm talking in addition to and after all that.  I always have a kid or more trying to climb up my legs to be held.  If I sit down, sitting next to me isn't close enough.  If they can reach my hair...it's go...

 Ever wonder if an alligator lizard can swim?  Me neither.   "But it's an alligator lizard, Mom," my son insisted.   I responded, "Yes, but it's a lizard. "   I'm so boring.  The boys didn't trust my intellect in this.  They had to perform an experiment.  Turns out alligator lizards can not  swim, but chickens still like them.  It also turns out, I didn't have to teach science last week.  Check.   Another fun science fact we learned recently: plants that have been sprayed with an herbicide shouldn't be ingested.  In fact, random wild plants shouldn't be put in your mouth at all. Especially thistles.  Even if you are thirsty.  Even if Bear Grylls suggested they are a good source of water when you are lost in the wilderness.  You live in a house with running water.  We did some Googling of poisons and I got a quick science lesson of my own after that one.  On the upside, they did...

 If your kids aren't annoying you at least occasionally, then they probably aren't doing childhood right.  Ours are winning at childhood.  Actually, we came to the conclusion the other day that if they are annoying you all the time, then you probably aren't doing parenting right.  And when I say "you," I mean "we."   We weren't enjoying our kids recently, and we wondered if that meant other people were also finding them unenjoyable.  It made us finally pause and take a long hard look at what was bugging us about our kids.  We felt like we were in a perpetual state of irritation.  Once we made our list, and it was lengthy, we noticed a theme: attention.  Our kids were begging for our attention with every behavior.  It was annoying, but it was our fault, and it was fixable.   We started putting down phones and brooms and laundry and giving undivided and intentional focus to our kids throughout the day.  It wasn't a huge...

I've done a lot of things in my life that I'm not proud of, but wiping chicken butts is my newest claim to shame.  Three.  If you were wondering. I wiped clean three baby chicken booties.  This is a new low, but if I let them get clogged up and they die, the boys will never forgive me.   We got ten sweet baby chicks this week and we lost one right out of the gate.  Sawyer tried his best to love it back to life, but to no avail.  Dead is dead.  I heard him whisper to the chick that it would love heaven with all the other birds.  It was very sweet.  Then he tightened his grip on the little body, poop shot onto my kitchen floor, and the moment was over.  We buried it next to a stump.  I'm hoping (with little confidence) the boys don't try to resurrect it later.  The boys and I have had a week of it.  We have not seen eye to eye on anything since the week began.  I'm exhausted.   They are with Grandma and G...