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Lots to Learn


 A while back I had a conversation with a friend.  Yes, I have friends.  

Fine...it was an acquaintance.

The point is, we got on the topics of school as is often the case.  She mentioned that she had asked a kindergarten teacher what she would like kids to know when they started school.  The teacher, she said, wanted kids to come in knowing the basics. 

I considered that our boys know their colors, shapes, numbers and letters and proceeded to mentally pat myself on the back and breathe a sigh of relief.   

Then she continued to say, the basics like personal hygiene, how to wipe their own bottoms, get dressed after using the bathroom, wash their hands, and open the food in their lunch pails...

My heart sank as I looked at our youngest with his shirt on backwards, his pants on backwards, undoubtedly his underwear on backwards and his socks upside down.  Then I looked at our oldest, his boxers were bunched so high that the legs were above the waistline of his pants, and that was because he had just dropped his pants to his ankles to pee on a tree...next to the road...at the park where we were having lunch.  

That's when I realized we have a lot of work to do in a few short months.  

Captain Clogger, has to learn toilet paper portion control and proper wiping technique.  The Black Handed Bandit is going to have to learn what soap is.  Both boys, have atrocious table manners.  Suddenly, I am very aware of how much they use their hands to eat and how they wait until their mouths are filled to maximum capacity before they try to talk.  Forget finishing school, does anybody teach starting school???     


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