Skip to main content

Yes, Chef!

 Back before kids, when we had a tv and time for watching, some of my favorite shows were cooking shows.  I loved seeing what contestants came up with in the various competitions.  I thought Gordon Ramsey was a little bit much, but otherwise I was a total sucker for anything cooking related.  I found inspiration from those shows for my own cooking, which I thoroughly enjoyed.  

Fast forward seven years and four kids.  

Gordon Ramsey looks like a good natured grandma compared to my crew.  My one-year-old can out Ramsey, Gordon Ramsey.  She literally spit her dinner in my face because it was, to her standards, sub par.  These critics are no joke.  

I've been told, by people who don't live under our roof, that my food is edible.  But for those whom I birthed, survey says....no.   The only thing I can get a 100% success rate on is watermelon.  Watermelon.  That I cut.  And serve.  That's it.  Well, my friends, watermelon season is over.  The next nine months are going to be rough.

So wish me luck and say a little prayer.  Maybe the kids will discover potatoes aren't the devil this winter, we will find a pizza topping that everyone likes, a smoothie that doesn't deserve to be dumped on the floor, and a chicken recipe that doesn't end with someone in tears.  It's a lot to ask.  Maybe watermelon season could just start a little earlier.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Little Bit Dicey

 This might be a little controversial.  I try to steer clear of such topics in this space, but it needs to be said.  Take it as you will, but know that it comes from a place of love, concern, and respect.  Here it is: there is a right  way to cut an onion. Now, I'm not saying this to try and get anyone's dander up.  I'm just saying it's a subject that needs to be addressed in kitchens across America.  There may be more than one right way to skin a cat (I can't say I've tested that), but the same does not hold true for onions.  Please, you can teach an old dog new tricks - learn how to properly cut an onion.  It will save you time, frustration, onion tears, and possibly a finger.     Now, since I'm still sitting here on blogspot like it's 2003, I'm not going to post any how-to videos, but I'll do the next best thing.  I'll paste a link right here .    Check it out.  Practice it.  Make it a habit.  T...

Advanced Placement

 Not to brag or anything, but I think we are raising some very advanced children.  At two-years-of-age, our girls have already worked out the art of manipulation and deflection.  It's the antithesis of endearing.   They went missing the other day - the girls did.  That's never a good situation.  They were in the house, and I knew they were in the house, but I couldn't see or hear them.  Silence is the loudest alarm system.  Fischer took action and found them both in my bathroom.   "MOM!" I met them in the hall.  Carter was covered in clumps and blobs of hand cream. "Emi did it," was her unsolicited response.   "No," I told her.  "I think you  did it." That night I got ready for bed and pulled out my one "self-care" splurge - my face cream .  It was in my drawer where I always keep it.  The lid was screwed on.  And it was empty, wiped clean.  "EmmmeerrrrrSON!" Guilty.  They were both ...

Staycation

 We recently had to spend some time at home as a family because: Covid.  I don't hate being stuck at home, but it was not exactly the greatest timing.  When is it a good time to be sick?  There were some things that the kids were especially sad to miss out on, but I made up for it by letting them have cereal for breakfast.  That pretty much heals all wounds in our house.  I guess they are tired of option oatmeal.   Anyway, between that and some extra screen time, we came out smelling like lilies - almost as good as roses.     Looking at the bright side of things, it also saved me from having to see people face to face while my face exploded.  Why, pray tell, am I almost forty with the acne of a fourteen year-old?  I am currently sporting a second chin.  You're welcome for my staying at home.   When I was younger...much younger, somebody said that having skin that tended to be on the oily end of the spectrum woul...