Skip to main content

Yes, Chef!

 Back before kids, when we had a tv and time for watching, some of my favorite shows were cooking shows.  I loved seeing what contestants came up with in the various competitions.  I thought Gordon Ramsey was a little bit much, but otherwise I was a total sucker for anything cooking related.  I found inspiration from those shows for my own cooking, which I thoroughly enjoyed.  

Fast forward seven years and four kids.  

Gordon Ramsey looks like a good natured grandma compared to my crew.  My one-year-old can out Ramsey, Gordon Ramsey.  She literally spit her dinner in my face because it was, to her standards, sub par.  These critics are no joke.  

I've been told, by people who don't live under our roof, that my food is edible.  But for those whom I birthed, survey says....no.   The only thing I can get a 100% success rate on is watermelon.  Watermelon.  That I cut.  And serve.  That's it.  Well, my friends, watermelon season is over.  The next nine months are going to be rough.

So wish me luck and say a little prayer.  Maybe the kids will discover potatoes aren't the devil this winter, we will find a pizza topping that everyone likes, a smoothie that doesn't deserve to be dumped on the floor, and a chicken recipe that doesn't end with someone in tears.  It's a lot to ask.  Maybe watermelon season could just start a little earlier.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Little Bit Dicey

 This might be a little controversial.  I try to steer clear of such topics in this space, but it needs to be said.  Take it as you will, but know that it comes from a place of love, concern, and respect.  Here it is: there is a right  way to cut an onion. Now, I'm not saying this to try and get anyone's dander up.  I'm just saying it's a subject that needs to be addressed in kitchens across America.  There may be more than one right way to skin a cat (I can't say I've tested that), but the same does not hold true for onions.  Please, you can teach an old dog new tricks - learn how to properly cut an onion.  It will save you time, frustration, onion tears, and possibly a finger.     Now, since I'm still sitting here on blogspot like it's 2003, I'm not going to post any how-to videos, but I'll do the next best thing.  I'll paste a link right here .    Check it out.  Practice it.  Make it a habit.  T...

Advanced Placement

 Not to brag or anything, but I think we are raising some very advanced children.  At two-years-of-age, our girls have already worked out the art of manipulation and deflection.  It's the antithesis of endearing.   They went missing the other day - the girls did.  That's never a good situation.  They were in the house, and I knew they were in the house, but I couldn't see or hear them.  Silence is the loudest alarm system.  Fischer took action and found them both in my bathroom.   "MOM!" I met them in the hall.  Carter was covered in clumps and blobs of hand cream. "Emi did it," was her unsolicited response.   "No," I told her.  "I think you  did it." That night I got ready for bed and pulled out my one "self-care" splurge - my face cream .  It was in my drawer where I always keep it.  The lid was screwed on.  And it was empty, wiped clean.  "EmmmeerrrrrSON!" Guilty.  They were both ...

How to Tame a Toddler (and other myths in parenting)

I used to think I had started to hone my parenting skills.  Fischer was a much more mellow toddler than Sawyer, and I credited Ross and myself having the experience of one child under our belts.  It turns out, I was wrong.  Fischer was just a more mellow toddler .  That, or we have substantially regressed in our skills since having the twins.  It could be that. They are terrorists.   Nobody and nothing is off limits.   Our walls are covered in crayon and pencil.  Our new kitchen table has been branded with marker.  There is crayon on the windows.  My cupboards and drawers are empty.  My counter tops are full. They have figured out how to climb up on the table, and how to climb onto the windowsill and over the back of the couch, how to climb out of their cribs, and how to climb out of their clothes!       Our boys did not do these things.   I wasn't prepared.   I thought we had a plan...