Skip to main content

Pick Your Battles, Not Your Boogers

 I was going to use this little window of time before bed to do a core workout.  That was around 3:00pm when I was still riding my caffeine high and hadn't just eaten sugar straight from the bag (not literally, but close enough).  Instead, I'm embracing my sedentary self, working toward acquiring Type II diabetes, and resting in the knowledge that my core will still be there and droopy tomorrow.  I'll start that workout first thing in the morning.  Priorities.

Speaking of priorities, our kids are becoming noticeably more feral.  We need to reign things in, but I don't know where to even start.  

Lift the toilet when you pee?  How about just close the door when you pee?  Or at least make it into the house?  Or, if you must pee outside, find somewhere discreet?  Sheesh.  Please, use a tissue instead of your sleeve, or use your sleeve instead of your finger, or at least wash your finger when you're done - with water, not in your m....never mind.  You have a fork, use it instead of your fingers.  Don't slurp.  Close your mouth.  Don't lick your plate.  Don't drink your noodles.  You have a fork!  Gah!

What we lack in manners, we make-up for in physical strength.  They're getting really skilled at push-ups.  That happens when you have to do them every time you toot, burp, make fake bathroom sounds, or talk about bathroom functions at the dinner table.  I'm not sure the strength building is doing anything for our propriety, but their PE teachers will be impressed with their form.  

I prayed for boys.  I should have prayed for some parenting skills to go with that bundle.  I'm about to enlist an etiquette curriculum, but I'm afraid it will expose how bad my own manners are.  And then I'll have to be embarrassed of my past self...even more.  But maybe my future self will thank me and our children's future spouses.  Brownie points for the mother-in-law.  

I should probably go order that curriculum.   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sheltering in Place

In the past three months Corona Virus has more or less turned the world on its head.  I feel almost guilty for not being more stressed or put out by the whole thing.  We have been extremely fortunate. What we thought was a most impractical move on our part, wound up being a huge blessing.  With our two boys and our two newborns, we moved out of our house with no yard in the city limits and into my parents' house in the country while waiting for our new house to be completed.  The weekend we moved "quarantine," "social distancing," and "shelter in place" became the new mantra of our state.   Moving in with my parents meant ten plus acres of play space and two extra able bodied adults to help even out the score with the four kids.  Win for the St. Clair's!  Unfortunately, my parents are beginning to realize they may have made an error in judgement.   Yesterday, Sawyer gave their cat swimming lessons.   Last week th...
1 comment
Read more

Advanced Placement

 Not to brag or anything, but I think we are raising some very advanced children.  At two-years-of-age, our girls have already worked out the art of manipulation and deflection.  It's the antithesis of endearing.   They went missing the other day - the girls did.  That's never a good situation.  They were in the house, and I knew they were in the house, but I couldn't see or hear them.  Silence is the loudest alarm system.  Fischer took action and found them both in my bathroom.   "MOM!" I met them in the hall.  Carter was covered in clumps and blobs of hand cream. "Emi did it," was her unsolicited response.   "No," I told her.  "I think you  did it." That night I got ready for bed and pulled out my one "self-care" splurge - my face cream .  It was in my drawer where I always keep it.  The lid was screwed on.  And it was empty, wiped clean.  "EmmmeerrrrrSON!" Guilty.  They were both ...
2 comments
Read more

Bump in the Road

 If your kids aren't annoying you at least occasionally, then they probably aren't doing childhood right.  Ours are winning at childhood.  Actually, we came to the conclusion the other day that if they are annoying you all the time, then you probably aren't doing parenting right.  And when I say "you," I mean "we."   We weren't enjoying our kids recently, and we wondered if that meant other people were also finding them unenjoyable.  It made us finally pause and take a long hard look at what was bugging us about our kids.  We felt like we were in a perpetual state of irritation.  Once we made our list, and it was lengthy, we noticed a theme: attention.  Our kids were begging for our attention with every behavior.  It was annoying, but it was our fault, and it was fixable.   We started putting down phones and brooms and laundry and giving undivided and intentional focus to our kids throughout the day.  It wasn't a huge...
Post a Comment
Read more