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Pick Your Battles, Not Your Boogers

 I was going to use this little window of time before bed to do a core workout.  That was around 3:00pm when I was still riding my caffeine high and hadn't just eaten sugar straight from the bag (not literally, but close enough).  Instead, I'm embracing my sedentary self, working toward acquiring Type II diabetes, and resting in the knowledge that my core will still be there and droopy tomorrow.  I'll start that workout first thing in the morning.  Priorities.

Speaking of priorities, our kids are becoming noticeably more feral.  We need to reign things in, but I don't know where to even start.  

Lift the toilet when you pee?  How about just close the door when you pee?  Or at least make it into the house?  Or, if you must pee outside, find somewhere discreet?  Sheesh.  Please, use a tissue instead of your sleeve, or use your sleeve instead of your finger, or at least wash your finger when you're done - with water, not in your m....never mind.  You have a fork, use it instead of your fingers.  Don't slurp.  Close your mouth.  Don't lick your plate.  Don't drink your noodles.  You have a fork!  Gah!

What we lack in manners, we make-up for in physical strength.  They're getting really skilled at push-ups.  That happens when you have to do them every time you toot, burp, make fake bathroom sounds, or talk about bathroom functions at the dinner table.  I'm not sure the strength building is doing anything for our propriety, but their PE teachers will be impressed with their form.  

I prayed for boys.  I should have prayed for some parenting skills to go with that bundle.  I'm about to enlist an etiquette curriculum, but I'm afraid it will expose how bad my own manners are.  And then I'll have to be embarrassed of my past self...even more.  But maybe my future self will thank me and our children's future spouses.  Brownie points for the mother-in-law.  

I should probably go order that curriculum.   

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