Skip to main content

This One is For Aunt Liz



I don't know where to even start.  I think, hope, and pray we are reaching the peak of crazy with the little girls.  If you're a twin mom and it doesn't get easier by the time they are three, please don't talk to me.  Or, alternatively, just tell me lies.  That would be fine.  

The little lemmings want to walk off all the cliffs, and they want to do it naked.  I can't turn my back on them for a minute when they are awake.  It's probably good I was an ultra-runner before this.  I thought I was just enjoying the outdoors, but apparently I was training for motherhood.  This week we continued to battle naps.  It was a solid four days before I finally got the upper hand.  The girls were using naptime to practice their ninja skills as well their own diapering techniques.  I caught them trying to change each other's diapers as well as their own.  

And I had a lot of clean up on isle nine.      

We finally decided that maybe they were trying to tell us they are ready to potty train.  I am not.  I don't want to do it.  I just want them to pee in their diapers until they are four and can listen and obey when I tell them not to touch every inch of a public bathroom stall.  Is it really so hard?  But when Emerson pulled her diaper off and squatted outside today and Carter came alongside her to cheer her on, I caved.  I pulled out the undies and the potty chair.
Trying to potty train two little girls at the same time with only one potty chair is a lot like playing Whack-a-Mole.  Girl #1 balances with my help on the big toilet while #2 sits on the little chair.  When girl number #2 pops off the chair to see if she's had success, I try to catch her while still holding #1, so pee doesn't dribble everywhere.  I help #1 get off her toilet so I can wipe #2, but while I'm wiping #2, #1 tries to dump the pee tray into the big toilet, so I have to stop the wipe on #2 in order to swipe the tray from #1.  Follow?  Sometimes I don't either, and it gets real messy.  I was never very good at Whack-a-Mole.  

Then there is the obligatory handwashing - another fiasco when your people can't quite reach the water even with a stool, but they demand clean hands - which is great so long as the other sister isn't trying to deep dive into the toilet.  

It's fun.  We are having loads of fun.  

They did pretty good all afternoon until right after dinner.  That's when Carter peed in her cowboy boots and about blew a gasket.  I don't think she knew what was happening and it scared her.  That's when we decided it was bedtime...at 5:00.   

If you need me, I'll be mopping.  

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.  

(And that, Aunt Liz, is why I haven't written in a while.)    

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Little Bit Dicey

 This might be a little controversial.  I try to steer clear of such topics in this space, but it needs to be said.  Take it as you will, but know that it comes from a place of love, concern, and respect.  Here it is: there is a right  way to cut an onion. Now, I'm not saying this to try and get anyone's dander up.  I'm just saying it's a subject that needs to be addressed in kitchens across America.  There may be more than one right way to skin a cat (I can't say I've tested that), but the same does not hold true for onions.  Please, you can teach an old dog new tricks - learn how to properly cut an onion.  It will save you time, frustration, onion tears, and possibly a finger.     Now, since I'm still sitting here on blogspot like it's 2003, I'm not going to post any how-to videos, but I'll do the next best thing.  I'll paste a link right here .    Check it out.  Practice it.  Make it a habit.  T...
Post a Comment
Read more

Advanced Placement

 Not to brag or anything, but I think we are raising some very advanced children.  At two-years-of-age, our girls have already worked out the art of manipulation and deflection.  It's the antithesis of endearing.   They went missing the other day - the girls did.  That's never a good situation.  They were in the house, and I knew they were in the house, but I couldn't see or hear them.  Silence is the loudest alarm system.  Fischer took action and found them both in my bathroom.   "MOM!" I met them in the hall.  Carter was covered in clumps and blobs of hand cream. "Emi did it," was her unsolicited response.   "No," I told her.  "I think you  did it." That night I got ready for bed and pulled out my one "self-care" splurge - my face cream .  It was in my drawer where I always keep it.  The lid was screwed on.  And it was empty, wiped clean.  "EmmmeerrrrrSON!" Guilty.  They were both ...
2 comments
Read more

How to Tame a Toddler (and other myths in parenting)

I used to think I had started to hone my parenting skills.  Fischer was a much more mellow toddler than Sawyer, and I credited Ross and myself having the experience of one child under our belts.  It turns out, I was wrong.  Fischer was just a more mellow toddler .  That, or we have substantially regressed in our skills since having the twins.  It could be that. They are terrorists.   Nobody and nothing is off limits.   Our walls are covered in crayon and pencil.  Our new kitchen table has been branded with marker.  There is crayon on the windows.  My cupboards and drawers are empty.  My counter tops are full. They have figured out how to climb up on the table, and how to climb onto the windowsill and over the back of the couch, how to climb out of their cribs, and how to climb out of their clothes!       Our boys did not do these things.   I wasn't prepared.   I thought we had a plan...
Post a Comment
Read more