Skip to main content

Triple Threat

 People think we are raising twins, but they're wrong.  We actually have triplets: Emerson, Carter, and Carterror.  It's true.  Carterror doesn't hang around often, but when the days are long and naps have been missed, she comes out swinging.  

Today, when we should have been napping, we ran errands.  We needed some grain for our cows, so before picking up the boys from school, we stopped at the feed store.  The girls spent a little time looking at all the fish, birds, and pets they have for sale.  Immediately, after telling them not to touch the tanks, Carter tried to go fishing.  That's when I realized Carterror had arrived.  I called her name to stop her and realized her shirt was exceptionally lumpy.  

"What's in there?" I asked, pointing to her newly developed bosom.  

"My kitty," she replied, pulling out a stuffed cat from her sweatshirt.  A minute later, we were walking down an isle of bovine paraphernalia and she darted around a corner.  When I called her, she came sauntering back, and I noticed she had developed elephantitis in her right leg.  

“What's in there?” I asked, pointing to her giant thigh.  

"My soft jacket," she stated nonchalantly.  

"Take that out of  your pants," I said a little too loudly.

"No."

"Carter, take that out," I hissed, helping her pull her favorite sweater out of her pant leg.  

The boys think it's hilarious when Carter is overtired because she has zero filter and no fear of consequences.   Getting ready to head home from our friend's farm this evening, I told her to get in her car seat while I buckled in her sister.  She got in, but I looked away, and she got out.  I looked back up and she got in.  This went on several times while I was too far away to reach her, and all the while she chanted, "Now, I'm in.  Now, I'm out."  It's hard to discipline an impetuous child when you are trying not to laugh.  There's a good chance we are all going to need serious counseling before she's eighteen.     

All afternoon I was calling her Carter Oleava when she was making questionable choices.  Apparently, the girls don't grasp the whole middle name thing yet because by evening, they were calling each other  "Oleavas" when they where upset.  We will have to work on that.  

Things continued to spiral at bedtime, and we ended the day with her trying to eat a piece of paper before I could take it away from her.  I should have let her eat it, but it was too glossy and there was too much dye on it for me to feel comfortable.  

The bright side is, come bedtime, Emerson, Carter and Carterror fall asleep the moment their heads hit the pillow, even if that pillow is covered in shreds of chewed up paper.  


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Little Bit Dicey

 This might be a little controversial.  I try to steer clear of such topics in this space, but it needs to be said.  Take it as you will, but know that it comes from a place of love, concern, and respect.  Here it is: there is a right  way to cut an onion. Now, I'm not saying this to try and get anyone's dander up.  I'm just saying it's a subject that needs to be addressed in kitchens across America.  There may be more than one right way to skin a cat (I can't say I've tested that), but the same does not hold true for onions.  Please, you can teach an old dog new tricks - learn how to properly cut an onion.  It will save you time, frustration, onion tears, and possibly a finger.     Now, since I'm still sitting here on blogspot like it's 2003, I'm not going to post any how-to videos, but I'll do the next best thing.  I'll paste a link right here .    Check it out.  Practice it.  Make it a habit.  T...

Advanced Placement

 Not to brag or anything, but I think we are raising some very advanced children.  At two-years-of-age, our girls have already worked out the art of manipulation and deflection.  It's the antithesis of endearing.   They went missing the other day - the girls did.  That's never a good situation.  They were in the house, and I knew they were in the house, but I couldn't see or hear them.  Silence is the loudest alarm system.  Fischer took action and found them both in my bathroom.   "MOM!" I met them in the hall.  Carter was covered in clumps and blobs of hand cream. "Emi did it," was her unsolicited response.   "No," I told her.  "I think you  did it." That night I got ready for bed and pulled out my one "self-care" splurge - my face cream .  It was in my drawer where I always keep it.  The lid was screwed on.  And it was empty, wiped clean.  "EmmmeerrrrrSON!" Guilty.  They were both ...

Staycation

 We recently had to spend some time at home as a family because: Covid.  I don't hate being stuck at home, but it was not exactly the greatest timing.  When is it a good time to be sick?  There were some things that the kids were especially sad to miss out on, but I made up for it by letting them have cereal for breakfast.  That pretty much heals all wounds in our house.  I guess they are tired of option oatmeal.   Anyway, between that and some extra screen time, we came out smelling like lilies - almost as good as roses.     Looking at the bright side of things, it also saved me from having to see people face to face while my face exploded.  Why, pray tell, am I almost forty with the acne of a fourteen year-old?  I am currently sporting a second chin.  You're welcome for my staying at home.   When I was younger...much younger, somebody said that having skin that tended to be on the oily end of the spectrum woul...