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Extreme House Makeover

 My preferred décor style is somewhere along the lines of rustic Scandinavian.  I think that's a thing.  Clean, uncluttered, with some bright pops of color.  Walking through our house, you would not get that vibe.  Our current look is more along the lines of dirty socks with a splash of Band-Aid wrappers.  Our kids, who practice zero hygiene, are suddenly very adamant that they must keep fresh bandages on their scrapes and cuts.  That means changing them about every seventeen minutes.  Normally, I'd approve of these sanitary practices, but I've seen where their dirty little hands have been, and they definitely aren't washing those as often as they are changing the dressings.  

Dirty socks and wrappers are just the start though.  Instead of fancy wallpaper, we style the walls with muddy handprints, colored pencil drawings and a hint of crayon.  The windows we don't bother covering because it's already hard for the light to make it through the face and handprints that adorn them.  Our floors are so sticky it becomes essential to wear shoes inside just to prevent ruining our socks.  Someday, I might miss the kids being young.  I will.  I'm sure of it.  But when they improve their aim at the toilet (I'm told this can happen), when less of their food ends up on the floor and more ends up in their mouths, when they start and finish the day with the same pair of socks, I'm going to finally sit back and say, "My work here is done."  I will be able to hand them over to their future spouses feeling like I did my part to make the world a better place.

Clearly, I have a long road ahead of me.  

Actually, I might have to revisit that military school idea after all...  

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