Skip to main content

Baby Girls Are No Joke


I am tired.  I have been in the middle of a serious power struggle with some of the humans that live in our house.  I have never met two more stubborn, vocal, irrational, angry, needy, hungry, daring, sneaky, opinionated people in my life, and they aren't even politicians. 

Whoever said that girls are easier to raise than boys during the toddler years is a big fat liar.  I want my money back!  They are not easier.  I tip my hat to all the parents who managed to raise them into adulthood with even a smidgen of sanity left to tell the tale.  I may not get there.  I. May. Not.

Our girls are less than two-years-old, and they have already been engaged in more physical brawls than their brothers have in the last five years.  It's not the stuff of sissies either.  They hit, kick, pinch, claw, bite, and pull hair. It makes the MMA look like child's play.

It's not all bad.  They have their moments of "twin magic" as my friend says.  They share.  They share the snacks they pilfer from the pantry...

They also share poop...it turns out.  Em now wears a straight jacket (baby sack - same thing) while napping.  This was never a thing for our boys.  We put them in clothes.  They stayed in clothes until we took them off and put them in other clothes.  They did not poop in their beds.  They did not pass poop through the crib rails.  They were easy.  They were predictable.  

The boys were sweet and cuddly.  The girls hit and scream "no" if you ask to pick them up, but cry and scream if you don't pick them up.  It's all very confusing.  

We are already husband shopping.  These girls are going to need some strong men in their lives.  Like as soon as they turn eighteen because I'm already hanging on by the skin of my teeth. *     


*Obviously, I'm joking, but I thought I should put it in writing for any weirdos out there.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pink Stinks

Our girls, like most four-year-old girls, love pink.  And purple.  And sparkly things, unicorns, butterflies, lizards and cats.  But especially pink.  Their brothers aren't so fond of pink.  They prefer the color dirt.  I know this because it's what they have chosen for the color of our walls, windows, light switches and their socks.   "Do you like pink?"  Emerson asked Fischer one day not long ago. "No." "Why?" "Because pink stinks !" Cue 'angry tears and screaming.' This of course delighted her brother who began using the line anytime he wanted to see her cry.  Which was often.  It didn't change her passion for the color, however.  She still demanded the pink plate, pink cup, pink shirt, pink shoes, and pink gum if she had the choice.  Because pink is the best when you're four.   Fast forward a couple of weeks.  The girls were collecting pieces of garbage off the van floor.  Why?  I don't know, b...

Triple Threat

 People think we are raising twins, but they're wrong.  We actually have triplets: Emerson, Carter, and Carterror.  It's true.  Carterror doesn't hang around often, but when the days are long and naps have been missed, she comes out swinging.   Today, when we should have been napping, we ran errands.  We needed some grain for our cows, so before picking up the boys from school, we stopped at the feed store.  The girls spent a little time looking at all the fish, birds, and pets they have for sale.  Immediately, after telling them not to touch the tanks, Carter tried to go fishing.  That's when I realized Carterror had arrived.  I called her name to stop her and realized her shirt was exceptionally lumpy.   "What's in there?" I asked, pointing to her newly developed bosom.   "My kitty," she replied, pulling out a stuffed cat from her sweatshirt.  A minute later, we were walking down an isle of bovine parapher...

Fear Factor

 Did you know that it has been not  scientifically proven that a baby can smell her mother's presence through a closed door.  It's probably the smell of fear that they are actually attuned to, but nonetheless.  I hold my breath and walk on tiptoe past the baby's room and still get busted nearly every time.  My fear is pungent. Besides waking the babies, I have another fear currently in the forefront of my mind.  Don't mind me, this is just another episode of True Confessions.. .  Here it is: the boys are getting so much outside time that they are building up incredible endurance.  It's great really, but it is   becoming  so hard to wear them out. It used to be an hour at the playground and we were golden.  Now, they basically put in an eight-hour workday, and it's just a warm-up!  Does anybody have a treadmill....?  Real school is going to be a bit of an adjustment for the big guy next fall.    Speaking of s...