Tooth Fairy Anxiety

I knew having kids was going to be hard - sleep deprivation, worry, stress, hard choices, etc. But nobody said anything about the tooth fairy.

I kind of hate her.

I mean, it's precious. For the first tooth. For the first kid. After that, I think she stinks. I might be the worst version of the tooth fairy. What's the going rate on teeth these days? I don't know. My kids are probably getting ripped off. I'm just hoping they don't start comparing notes with their friends at school.

"What did you get?"

"$10! How about you?"

"A pile of change, some lint, and a tooth brush..."

"Huh. Maybe you need to brush better."

My biggest problem is remembering to be the tooth fairy. I had to set three alarms for the last tooth. My other problem is that my kids want to be freaking pen pals with "her." So many letters! So many unanswered letters...

I tried. Then I forgot. Then they got real confused and sad. I'm a miserable human. Ross jumped in and told them he had received a message that the tooth fairy would not be able to visit again until a tooth was available for her to pick up. That was nice, but garnered many questions that I wasn't quite prepared to answer. It also didn't work.

Fischer kept trying to make contact. He was so distraught to be six with no wiggly teeth. He demanded answers. Mercifully, the boy has finally lost his first tooth, and he has the best gap and whistle to show for it. The letters have stopped for now. I can breathe a little easier until the next one. Which brings me to the realization that we have a lot of tooth fairying ahead of us.

Help.

*photo credit: Ross St. Clair

**don't mind the snot

***just focus on those eyes

Comments

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