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Bedtime

 Bedtime with toddlers is something like a cross between a WWE wrestling match and a psychological chest game. 

Parent: suggests it's time for bed.

Toddler: dives under the nearest furniture.  

Your move.

Parent: catches a leg and pulls toddler back to starting position.

Toddler: cries.

Parent: walks crying child to the bathroom and readies toothbrush.

Toddler: clinches mouth shut.  

Parent: forces child's lips apart and scrubs front teeth until child cries out and grants access to the molars.

Toddler: Refuses to pee in the toilet.  

Parent: suggests child needs to wear a diaper tonight.

Toddler: pees, runs naked back into the living room.

Parent: chases child back to the bedroom.

Toddler: Hides under the bed.

Parent: chooses the wrong pajamas several times before choosing the right pajamas and coaxes child from under the bed.

Wresting match ensues as pajamas are donned.  

Parent: "Pick a book."

Toddler: searches for several minutes and brings back three.

Parent: "One book."

Toddler: cries and can't choose a favorite.

Parent: reads two books.

Child: places half the toys in the room under her sheets.

Parent: kisses child goodnight.

Child: "We didn't pray."

Parent: prays.

Child: "I need water."

Parent: fills and delivers water bottle.

Child: "I need my soft blanket."

Parent: finds and delivers blanket.

Child: I need another hug.  And a kiss.  And a high five.

Parent: gives all the things, walks to the living room and falls onto the couch exhausted.

Silence...

Child: "I need to poop!"

Checkmate.

At least, that's about how our night goes x2.  

Somewhere along the way, we also added holding the girls and singing "Rock-a-bye Baby” before laying them in their beds. As these things do, the routine has morphed over the months. It now includes me catching them as they catapult off their beds. Emerson is pretty easy. She gives me a good count down and is athletic enough to get decent height on her jump. 

Carter. Carter is like getting body slammed by a suitcase. She flies at me without warning and is lucky I have only missed once. 

It’s always an adventure.


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