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 Mercy.  The anxiety level has crept into the red-zone around here.  I was in the shower the other day and smelled onions.  It was me.  That's how I knew I'd let the anxiety get out of hand.  Anyone else smell like onions when they are stressed?  Is that just a me thing?  Maybe that's just a me thing.  Oh well, just add it to the weird, middle-aged body function list.  

I had to gather myself and take stock of things.  Worried about the nation? Check.  The state? Check.  Our community, friends, family?  Check, check, and check.  Boy, I'm sure glad I'm doing everyone's worrying for them.  I'll tell you where to send your thank you cards later.  

So I'm working on letting go of the things I can't control and trying to deal with those I can.  Like the piles.  The piles give me anxiety.  Dirty dish piles, dirty clothes piles, clean clothes piles, paper piles, book piles, toy piles, to-do piles.  My favorite one today: a #2 pile on top of an already clogged toilet.  Reality, my friends.  All the piles.  

While I was tackling yet another pile, I had an epiphany: Parenting is not for the faint of heart.  Duh.  But how do you know if you are faint hearted or not?  I mean, you kind of don't know until you try it.  But once you've tried it, you're kind of stuck.  Once they're out, you can't really send the baby back.  So this led to my great idea.  We have four kids.  They are at an array of ages and stages.  I'm pretty good at sharing (just not food; don't touch my food), and I like helping people.  Having kids is a monumental decision.  Wouldn't it be nice to see if it's your cup of tea?  Babies are cute, but they grow up.  You should really experience all the stages.  I can help.

For a small fee, I'd be willing to rent you one or more kids.  You could get the experience of a lifetime.  At $50/hr and a minimum of three hours, it could potentially save you thousands of dollars.  I'm doing this for you, friends.  And it would be really convenient if I could do it for you this Friday night from like 6:00 - 9:00pm.  Just throwing it out there.  




***Obviously, this is a joke...our kids aren't worth that much...kidding.  Just kidding.  Sheesh.  

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