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True Confessions

I'm not a huge mask wearer.  Judge or judge not, that's just me being honest.  Luckily, there are very few instances where I am required or feel compelled to put one on.  I swear, there is always a thread or stray hair hanging out in mine.  I should probably wash it.  Anyway, despite my general lack of mask wearing, there are times when it is to my advantage to put one on.  Anybody else feeling that?  

Let me elaborate.  I go to the store now without the twins, so I don't have them pulling on it, spitting up on it, or throwing it on the floor. And I have found that it makes it 100x more convenient to go to the store and slack on basic hygiene.  I mean, nobody can smell if I have brushed my teeth, my facial hair goes virtually unnoticed, and the constant puddle of snot at the tip of my nose this time of year...well, it can drip or dry as it likes.  It's pretty phenomenal.  The only hard part is returning home and trying to convince my husband that, "Yes, my mask is necessary inside the house today. Dude (it's a term of affection - he banned Rosshole when Sawyer was born).  Dude, I've been out today.  The mask is for your protection."  And then I make a day of not caring what's behind the mask.  It saves me like fifteen minutes, at least.  Worth it!  Ross may or may not concur.    

It's not all rainbows and butterflies though.  I was at the store the other day, and my worst mask nightmare came to fruition.  I was in the bulk foods.  People were everywhere.  It all happened so fast.  I didn't know what to do.....  

I sneezed.  

I sneezed inside my mask while grocery shopping.  I couldn't stop it. I couldn't do anything with it.  I just stood there with sneeze covering my covering. I tried to act like it was all perfectly normal and finished my shopping, but I died a little on the inside.  Silver lining - my mask wasn't a plastic face shield.  It was a nice, absorbent cotton.  At that point, I did wash it, by the way.  I'm gross, but spit-up and sneeze are the two deal breakers so far for me.    

Speaking of grocery shopping, we are buying four gallons of milk a week now for our family.  The kids are less than a third of the way grown at best.  Four gallons!  We have to have a second fridge just for our milk consumption.  We need a cow.  Does anybody want to sell us a cow?  Is this something I can set up a GoFund Me for?  Please, send help.  No, forget the help.  Just send milk...      

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