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Not Ready for Those Birds and Bees

 It's spring.  Officially.  But unofficially it's been looking a lot like spring for the last few weeks.  Trees are starting to bloom.  Wildflowers are popping up everywhere.  The birds are singing in the mornings.  Deer are running through our yard constantly, and the turkeys are everywhere.  

Last week we almost hit a turkey that was in the middle of the road.  I'm usually pretty cautious but this guy was at the crest of a hill, and I couldn't see him until we were right up in his tail feathers.  It didn't help that he wasn't making any attempt to get out of the road.  

"He must be hurt," I told the boys.  "It looks like he's been hit by a car.  He is acting really weird."  

We crept by him in the opposite lane.  I had nothing to dispatch him with and wasn't about to use my hands, so I wasn't going to stop.   As we passed Sawyer shouted, "And he's even got another turkey under him!"

Oh.  

"Aren't you going to call Grandma?!" Fischer asked, thinking she could put him out of his misery.  

"Ummmm, I'm driving."  I wasn't prepared to give more details.  They ask a lot of questions.  

At dinner the boys told Ross about the "hurt" bird.  He was a little more forthcoming with what they actually witnessed.  "He wasn't hurt.  He was helping the hen make babies."

"Oh.  So they were going to put the eggs right in the road?  They won't survive there," said Sawyer with some concern.

"No, maybe you should ask Mom to explain it," Ross said with a smirk.

"Actually, I think that's more of a science question," I shot back.

Meanwhile, the boys forgot what we were talking about and moved on to another topic.  I thought I'd dodged a bullet.

The next day I was eating lunch with Fischer and he brought the topic back up.  Apparently, he forgot I was part of the dinner conversation, and he proceeded to explain to me what was happening on the road.  "Mom, the tom wasn't hurt.  He was actually doing the hen..."  He paused for dramatic effect, and I choked on my water.  He didn't realize how effective that pause was.  He continued, "...doing the hen's eggs."

Sigh of relief.  "Really?"

"Yeah, he was helping her lay her eggs."

"Oh.  That's cool," I said, wiping my brow and immediately changing the subject.  

We are going to have a lot of explaining to do.  Just not today.    

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