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Rabbit Trails

 Is there anything more relatable than a mom carrying a screaming child - football style - out of a grocery store?  I hope not because today, she was me.  We made the same exit from the library.  It was a fun start to the day.    

When I decided to set the guilty child on her feet at the library, she made a brief escape attempt in the parking lot.  Mercifully, I can still out run her.  Unfortunately, what she lacked in speed she made up for in volume.  My apologies to downtown Rogue River and surrounding areas.    

Sometimes I want to scream out my frustration toddler style.  Occasionally, I do.  It's never as satisfying as I expect, and then I have to go around apologizing to everyone.  As a general rule, I try to keep my frustration to flared nostrils and heavy breathing.  

We have one boy who shares my quick temper.  He has quickly developed his own set of "swears" since truly naughty words are not tolerated in our house.  "You pain!" or "Rat!" are the current favorites for insulting his brother.  And when he's frustrated with his parents, "I'm not going to be nice today!" is his go-to line.  "Yipes!" is his exclamation in all other situations. 

I know we had a slough of made-up insults as kids as well, but one stands out.  If I really wanted to give my sister the business, I'd go for the meanest, dirtiest, most insulting name I knew I could get away with: "BOOB HEAD!"  Said with feeling and volume, of course.  

Although, I do remember calling her a bastard somewhere around the third grade.  I didn't know what it meant, and I wasn't using it as an insult, but I quickly learned that one was off limits.  My embarrassment was its own punishment.  

It wasn't the last time I "tested" a word that I shouldn't have.  If you don't know what it means, do yourself a favor, and don't say it in a group situation.  Just a little nugget for ya. 

And if you can't pronounce it...well, that's a whole other rabbit trail.  We just look forward to the day when Emerson stops swearing every time she sees a "Big *uck!" drive by...

Gotta love those eighteen wheelers.    

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