How to Train a Toddler

Bobbi St. Clair

Step 1: Wear gloves.

Step 2: You can't.

I thought I might write my own manuscript on childrearing since I've had a few tries at it now, but it turns out nobody wanted to publish my work. Something about word limits and hope. Their reasoning seemed a little closed minded to me.

We are sleep training our toddlers...again. I thought we were done. Turns out, they have their own ideas on the subject. We had a good run...

They don't stay in bed during naps, and I don't remember the last time they didn't yell for me in the middle of the night. At night, unless they shout "fire!" or "I pooped!" we pretty muchly aren't getting up to check on them. It seems like they are yelling less...I think. So hopefully that means we are getting somewhere.

We are also navigating food issues. They have, in the last week or so, quit eating at meal times. But they want all the snacks. Now we are gearing up to do the battle of, "you'll eat last night's dinner for breakfast." It's meat, cheese, and bread. These are three things they beg for between meals - well, that and cookies. Put it on a plate and call it dinner? Deals off. They don't want it. I'm not sure who is dreading breakfast more, me or them. It's a novice parenting move when the punishment you chose for your child also punishes you. So I'm feeling pretty good about that. I'm also beginning to understand why my book may not have gained traction.

We haven't regressed in the potty-training department, but somehow I feel like I should prepare myself now. The girls don't like us feeling too confident in these things. Just when we start trying to celebrate a milestone (no more diapers, hooray!!), they bring us back to reality.

As a matter of fact, and now that I think about it, could they be training us?!

***Edit to add: I wasn’t wrong. Toddler #1 peed all over the floor the next day...

Comments

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