Skip to main content

How to Train a Toddler

 

How to Train a Toddler

By 

Bobbi St. Clair

Step 1: Wear gloves.

Step 2: You can't.

I thought I might write my own manuscript on childrearing since I've had a few tries at it now, but it turns out nobody wanted to publish my work.  Something about word limits and hope.  Their reasoning seemed a little closed minded to me.  

We are sleep training our toddlers...again.  I thought we were done.   Turns out, they have their own ideas on the subject.  We had a good run...

They don't stay in bed during naps, and I don't remember the last time they didn't yell for me in the middle of the night.  At night, unless they shout "fire!" or "I pooped!" we pretty muchly aren't getting up to check on them.  It seems like they are yelling less...I think.  So hopefully that means we are getting somewhere.  

We are also navigating food issues.  They have, in the last week or so, quit eating at meal times.  But they want all the snacks.  Now we are gearing up to do the battle of, "you'll eat last night's dinner for breakfast." It's meat, cheese, and bread.  These are three things they beg for between meals - well, that and cookies.  Put it on a plate and call it dinner?  Deals off.  They don't want it.  I'm not sure who is dreading breakfast more, me or them.  It's a novice parenting move when the punishment you chose for your child also punishes you.  So I'm feeling pretty good about that.  I'm also beginning to understand why my book may not have gained traction.  

We haven't regressed in the potty-training department, but somehow I feel like I should prepare myself now.  The girls don't like us feeling too confident in these things.  Just when we start trying to celebrate a milestone (no more diapers, hooray!!), they bring us back to reality.  

As a matter of fact, and now that I think about it, could they be training us?!


***Edit to add: I wasn’t wrong. Toddler #1 peed all over the floor the next day...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Little Bit Dicey

 This might be a little controversial.  I try to steer clear of such topics in this space, but it needs to be said.  Take it as you will, but know that it comes from a place of love, concern, and respect.  Here it is: there is a right  way to cut an onion. Now, I'm not saying this to try and get anyone's dander up.  I'm just saying it's a subject that needs to be addressed in kitchens across America.  There may be more than one right way to skin a cat (I can't say I've tested that), but the same does not hold true for onions.  Please, you can teach an old dog new tricks - learn how to properly cut an onion.  It will save you time, frustration, onion tears, and possibly a finger.     Now, since I'm still sitting here on blogspot like it's 2003, I'm not going to post any how-to videos, but I'll do the next best thing.  I'll paste a link right here .    Check it out.  Practice it.  Make it a habit.  T...
Post a Comment
Read more

Advanced Placement

 Not to brag or anything, but I think we are raising some very advanced children.  At two-years-of-age, our girls have already worked out the art of manipulation and deflection.  It's the antithesis of endearing.   They went missing the other day - the girls did.  That's never a good situation.  They were in the house, and I knew they were in the house, but I couldn't see or hear them.  Silence is the loudest alarm system.  Fischer took action and found them both in my bathroom.   "MOM!" I met them in the hall.  Carter was covered in clumps and blobs of hand cream. "Emi did it," was her unsolicited response.   "No," I told her.  "I think you  did it." That night I got ready for bed and pulled out my one "self-care" splurge - my face cream .  It was in my drawer where I always keep it.  The lid was screwed on.  And it was empty, wiped clean.  "EmmmeerrrrrSON!" Guilty.  They were both ...
2 comments
Read more

Staycation

 We recently had to spend some time at home as a family because: Covid.  I don't hate being stuck at home, but it was not exactly the greatest timing.  When is it a good time to be sick?  There were some things that the kids were especially sad to miss out on, but I made up for it by letting them have cereal for breakfast.  That pretty much heals all wounds in our house.  I guess they are tired of option oatmeal.   Anyway, between that and some extra screen time, we came out smelling like lilies - almost as good as roses.     Looking at the bright side of things, it also saved me from having to see people face to face while my face exploded.  Why, pray tell, am I almost forty with the acne of a fourteen year-old?  I am currently sporting a second chin.  You're welcome for my staying at home.   When I was younger...much younger, somebody said that having skin that tended to be on the oily end of the spectrum woul...
Post a Comment
Read more