Skip to main content

How to Train a Toddler

 

How to Train a Toddler

By 

Bobbi St. Clair

Step 1: Wear gloves.

Step 2: You can't.

I thought I might write my own manuscript on childrearing since I've had a few tries at it now, but it turns out nobody wanted to publish my work.  Something about word limits and hope.  Their reasoning seemed a little closed minded to me.  

We are sleep training our toddlers...again.  I thought we were done.   Turns out, they have their own ideas on the subject.  We had a good run...

They don't stay in bed during naps, and I don't remember the last time they didn't yell for me in the middle of the night.  At night, unless they shout "fire!" or "I pooped!" we pretty muchly aren't getting up to check on them.  It seems like they are yelling less...I think.  So hopefully that means we are getting somewhere.  

We are also navigating food issues.  They have, in the last week or so, quit eating at meal times.  But they want all the snacks.  Now we are gearing up to do the battle of, "you'll eat last night's dinner for breakfast." It's meat, cheese, and bread.  These are three things they beg for between meals - well, that and cookies.  Put it on a plate and call it dinner?  Deals off.  They don't want it.  I'm not sure who is dreading breakfast more, me or them.  It's a novice parenting move when the punishment you chose for your child also punishes you.  So I'm feeling pretty good about that.  I'm also beginning to understand why my book may not have gained traction.  

We haven't regressed in the potty-training department, but somehow I feel like I should prepare myself now.  The girls don't like us feeling too confident in these things.  Just when we start trying to celebrate a milestone (no more diapers, hooray!!), they bring us back to reality.  

As a matter of fact, and now that I think about it, could they be training us?!


***Edit to add: I wasn’t wrong. Toddler #1 peed all over the floor the next day...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pink Stinks

Our girls, like most four-year-old girls, love pink.  And purple.  And sparkly things, unicorns, butterflies, lizards and cats.  But especially pink.  Their brothers aren't so fond of pink.  They prefer the color dirt.  I know this because it's what they have chosen for the color of our walls, windows, light switches and their socks.   "Do you like pink?"  Emerson asked Fischer one day not long ago. "No." "Why?" "Because pink stinks !" Cue 'angry tears and screaming.' This of course delighted her brother who began using the line anytime he wanted to see her cry.  Which was often.  It didn't change her passion for the color, however.  She still demanded the pink plate, pink cup, pink shirt, pink shoes, and pink gum if she had the choice.  Because pink is the best when you're four.   Fast forward a couple of weeks.  The girls were collecting pieces of garbage off the van floor.  Why?  I don't know, b...
Post a Comment
Read more

Triple Threat

 People think we are raising twins, but they're wrong.  We actually have triplets: Emerson, Carter, and Carterror.  It's true.  Carterror doesn't hang around often, but when the days are long and naps have been missed, she comes out swinging.   Today, when we should have been napping, we ran errands.  We needed some grain for our cows, so before picking up the boys from school, we stopped at the feed store.  The girls spent a little time looking at all the fish, birds, and pets they have for sale.  Immediately, after telling them not to touch the tanks, Carter tried to go fishing.  That's when I realized Carterror had arrived.  I called her name to stop her and realized her shirt was exceptionally lumpy.   "What's in there?" I asked, pointing to her newly developed bosom.   "My kitty," she replied, pulling out a stuffed cat from her sweatshirt.  A minute later, we were walking down an isle of bovine parapher...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fear Factor

 Did you know that it has been not  scientifically proven that a baby can smell her mother's presence through a closed door.  It's probably the smell of fear that they are actually attuned to, but nonetheless.  I hold my breath and walk on tiptoe past the baby's room and still get busted nearly every time.  My fear is pungent. Besides waking the babies, I have another fear currently in the forefront of my mind.  Don't mind me, this is just another episode of True Confessions.. .  Here it is: the boys are getting so much outside time that they are building up incredible endurance.  It's great really, but it is   becoming  so hard to wear them out. It used to be an hour at the playground and we were golden.  Now, they basically put in an eight-hour workday, and it's just a warm-up!  Does anybody have a treadmill....?  Real school is going to be a bit of an adjustment for the big guy next fall.    Speaking of s...
4 comments
Read more