Skip to main content

Sasquatch and a Bidet

 I read in the news this weekend that Norovirus was wreaking havoc across the country.  It gave me a name for the junk that just ran its course through our house.  Norovirus is an extremely contagious stomach bug that is relatively short duration, but when you have a family of six, short duration is a week of sleepless nights and discomfort.  It started on a Monday with our youngest, and then nothing happened Tuesday so we thought we had dodged a bullet.  Wednesday afternoon we were hit with round two.  

Ross came home from work to find our oldest over the toilet.  "What are you doing in there, Buddy?"

"Huuuughghhhrstsch!"

"Calling Sasquatch, huh?"

"Hoorruughstch!"

"How's it working?  Seen him yet?"

"Rahuuuheh."

Ross laughed.  "Sorry, Buddy.  It's only funny because I know I'm next."

The next night he was.  

It's no fun being sick, but we did manage a movie marathon to the point that the kids were actually tired of watching shows.  That was new territory.  

When the week was over and we were finally able to creep out of quarantine, the kids and I visited the grandparents.  My dad had a gift for Ross.  He'd salvaged it from one of his rentals and couldn't think of a more appropriate recipient, apparently, than his son-in-law.

What does it mean when your father-in-law gifts you a used bidet?  Is that taking the relationship to the next level...or should we move?   


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Little Bit Dicey

 This might be a little controversial.  I try to steer clear of such topics in this space, but it needs to be said.  Take it as you will, but know that it comes from a place of love, concern, and respect.  Here it is: there is a right  way to cut an onion. Now, I'm not saying this to try and get anyone's dander up.  I'm just saying it's a subject that needs to be addressed in kitchens across America.  There may be more than one right way to skin a cat (I can't say I've tested that), but the same does not hold true for onions.  Please, you can teach an old dog new tricks - learn how to properly cut an onion.  It will save you time, frustration, onion tears, and possibly a finger.     Now, since I'm still sitting here on blogspot like it's 2003, I'm not going to post any how-to videos, but I'll do the next best thing.  I'll paste a link right here .    Check it out.  Practice it.  Make it a habit.  T...

Advanced Placement

 Not to brag or anything, but I think we are raising some very advanced children.  At two-years-of-age, our girls have already worked out the art of manipulation and deflection.  It's the antithesis of endearing.   They went missing the other day - the girls did.  That's never a good situation.  They were in the house, and I knew they were in the house, but I couldn't see or hear them.  Silence is the loudest alarm system.  Fischer took action and found them both in my bathroom.   "MOM!" I met them in the hall.  Carter was covered in clumps and blobs of hand cream. "Emi did it," was her unsolicited response.   "No," I told her.  "I think you  did it." That night I got ready for bed and pulled out my one "self-care" splurge - my face cream .  It was in my drawer where I always keep it.  The lid was screwed on.  And it was empty, wiped clean.  "EmmmeerrrrrSON!" Guilty.  They were both ...

How to Tame a Toddler (and other myths in parenting)

I used to think I had started to hone my parenting skills.  Fischer was a much more mellow toddler than Sawyer, and I credited Ross and myself having the experience of one child under our belts.  It turns out, I was wrong.  Fischer was just a more mellow toddler .  That, or we have substantially regressed in our skills since having the twins.  It could be that. They are terrorists.   Nobody and nothing is off limits.   Our walls are covered in crayon and pencil.  Our new kitchen table has been branded with marker.  There is crayon on the windows.  My cupboards and drawers are empty.  My counter tops are full. They have figured out how to climb up on the table, and how to climb onto the windowsill and over the back of the couch, how to climb out of their cribs, and how to climb out of their clothes!       Our boys did not do these things.   I wasn't prepared.   I thought we had a plan...