Skip to main content

Adulting

I feel like a poser.  I'm working hard at doing this whole "adult" thing, but I'm pretty sure I'm over-aged to be this under qualified.

I wonder why they teach Geometry, World Lit., Biology, Global Studies, and Physical Education in school, but they don't offer a class called Real Life.  I know a lot of 'real life' is integrated into these other classes, and you're supposed to glean life lessons alongside right angles, but I think I needed Captain Obvious Real Life as a core class in high school.  And because we are all idiots in high school, it needed to be offered again in college.  Maybe you weren't an idiot, but I certainly was, and I feel like some of that never wore off.

As a kid, I thought adults had it all figured out.  They were beyond the insecurities and self consciousness of youth, they knew exactly what to do in any situation, and how to handle themselves.  Small talk wasn't a problem.  Matching clothing came naturally.  Parenting was second nature.  And they were accustomed to being "old" because that's what they were.  It didn't dawn on me that they were experiencing anything new...ever.  Silly me.

A class would have been nice.  Hey kids, when you're an adult - you will be older versions of yourself.  So you better learn how to budget, keep little humans alive, figure out your hair, feed yourself, buy insurance, set up a retirement, stretch, and take care of those annoying face hairs.  Why didn't ANYONE warn me about the face hairs! 

I still have A LOT of adult stuff to figure out.  Send help.  And don't forget the coffee. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pink Stinks

Our girls, like most four-year-old girls, love pink.  And purple.  And sparkly things, unicorns, butterflies, lizards and cats.  But especially pink.  Their brothers aren't so fond of pink.  They prefer the color dirt.  I know this because it's what they have chosen for the color of our walls, windows, light switches and their socks.   "Do you like pink?"  Emerson asked Fischer one day not long ago. "No." "Why?" "Because pink stinks !" Cue 'angry tears and screaming.' This of course delighted her brother who began using the line anytime he wanted to see her cry.  Which was often.  It didn't change her passion for the color, however.  She still demanded the pink plate, pink cup, pink shirt, pink shoes, and pink gum if she had the choice.  Because pink is the best when you're four.   Fast forward a couple of weeks.  The girls were collecting pieces of garbage off the van floor.  Why?  I don't know, b...

Triple Threat

 People think we are raising twins, but they're wrong.  We actually have triplets: Emerson, Carter, and Carterror.  It's true.  Carterror doesn't hang around often, but when the days are long and naps have been missed, she comes out swinging.   Today, when we should have been napping, we ran errands.  We needed some grain for our cows, so before picking up the boys from school, we stopped at the feed store.  The girls spent a little time looking at all the fish, birds, and pets they have for sale.  Immediately, after telling them not to touch the tanks, Carter tried to go fishing.  That's when I realized Carterror had arrived.  I called her name to stop her and realized her shirt was exceptionally lumpy.   "What's in there?" I asked, pointing to her newly developed bosom.   "My kitty," she replied, pulling out a stuffed cat from her sweatshirt.  A minute later, we were walking down an isle of bovine parapher...

Fear Factor

 Did you know that it has been not  scientifically proven that a baby can smell her mother's presence through a closed door.  It's probably the smell of fear that they are actually attuned to, but nonetheless.  I hold my breath and walk on tiptoe past the baby's room and still get busted nearly every time.  My fear is pungent. Besides waking the babies, I have another fear currently in the forefront of my mind.  Don't mind me, this is just another episode of True Confessions.. .  Here it is: the boys are getting so much outside time that they are building up incredible endurance.  It's great really, but it is   becoming  so hard to wear them out. It used to be an hour at the playground and we were golden.  Now, they basically put in an eight-hour workday, and it's just a warm-up!  Does anybody have a treadmill....?  Real school is going to be a bit of an adjustment for the big guy next fall.    Speaking of s...