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Eat This, Not That

**Disclaimer: this is in no way a nutritional recommendation.  I am not a licensed nutritionist, dietitian, or health care professional.  These observations are purely based on experience.  

 Our boys are now three and five and they are not the best eaters.  That probably shocks exactly no one.  In fact, I'm pretty sure 99% of parents with preschool aged children just nodded and said "amen."  If you are part of the one percent, you also nodded and said "amen" because you didn't want to find yourself hated and ostracized by parents of preschool aged children everywhere.

Our oldest son will generally try at least a bite of something.  If dessert is at stake, he may even force himself to clear his plate of an entire undesirable food thing.  Our youngest, on the other hand, has the superpower of being able to puke on command if he doesn't like something.  It makes it tricky.

Their tastes and preferences are totally different.  That really throws a wrench in trying to make a meal that everyone is happy with.  The youngest will eat "pig," rice, and pancakes.  The oldest hates pancakes but will eat most meat except chicken on the bone, sausage with casings, or anything with fat attached to it (pig).  I try to mix up their meals and make things interesting or exciting.  Ants on a log anyone?  Fail.  Smoothies? 50% fail rate.  Yogurt with granola.  If the granola has raisins - foget'bout-it!  Quesadillas? Meh...maybe.  Chicken nuggets?  Absolutely, freaking, no!  (their words...more or less)  Macaroni and cheese?  Starting to come around on this one.

I'm not feeding them "weird" grown-up food all day.  I try to be fairly accommodating at breakfast and lunch, but dinner is dinner and I'm making stuff that we adults want to eat too.  Here is what I don't understand, they weren't willing to put a pinto bean in their mouths at dinner, but I have heard myself say the following things over the course of the last week:

"Play dough is NOT food.  Stop eating it!"

“Get your toe out of your mouth!”

"Quit drinking the bath water!" - literally, had their mouths pressed to the bottom of the tub to suck it up as it drained...and it was a bubble bath.

"Do NOT eat the glue!" First and last (for the foreseeable future) experience with Elmer's glue.

"What are you doing?  What is that?  No, no, NO do not put that in your mouth ever again!"  Boogers and earwax, my friends.

...And yet, they turn their little noses up at the idea of eating cucumbers and hummus.

Send help...and coffee.


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