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Alive and Well...Because of Me

I'm pretty good at keeping things alive.  Unless it's pets or plants, those I tend to kill.  Nobody told me you can over-clean a Beta fish's bowl.  Poor little Brown Trout.  But aside from a few other short lived pets and every single house plant, I've done alright.  

Our kids are all breathing because of me.  At least in part.  Sure, it takes two to make a human, but I grew them, so I'm taking a little more than half the credit.  Sometimes I have to remind them that I gave them life, and what's the Cosby Show  line? "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it!"  I jest.  But somedays....  

Ross is breathing because of me too.  Literally.  I saved his life.  He owes me big time.  

I haven't completely cashed in on that one yet.  I'm saving it for something good.  Although...."Babies are crying.  Somebody needs to check on them.  Remember that time I saved your life?".....How have I not used that?!  Stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.

I saved his life almost ten years ago.  I'm pretty much his hero.  He just forgets a lot, and I have to remind him.  It's okay, I don't mind reminding him as often as I need to.  

Ross eats fast and doesn't always chew well.  I've never taken food away from him, so I'm not sure what the rush is...  "Choo, choo, choo!" is my mantra at the dinner table, and it isn't meant for the kids.  He's a good sport though.  

Anyway, the story is that Ross didn't chew his last bite of steak at a fancy restaurant.  We were with a group of his teacher friends, and when he gave the, "Oh, shoot, I'm actually choking" signal.  They let me take care of it.  Apparently, it's part of the wifely duties.  Maybe, maybe somebody else would have intervened, but they didn't.   

Turns out, the abdominal thrust is very effective.  I'm glad because I like him.  Unfortunately, the abdominal thrust also makes you barf.  Luckily, the fancy restaurant had outdoor seating and a balcony.  I'll never know how the people below fared, but Ross lived.  

Long story short - now he owes me.    

I wonder if that comes with interest?    

I'm not looking for anything fancy.  Just my own room.  A hidden room.  A room the kids don't know about that's well stocked with lots of snacks and ice cream.  Don't judge me.  A girl can dream.  

  

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