Skip to main content

Alive and Well...Because of Me

I'm pretty good at keeping things alive.  Unless it's pets or plants, those I tend to kill.  Nobody told me you can over-clean a Beta fish's bowl.  Poor little Brown Trout.  But aside from a few other short lived pets and every single house plant, I've done alright.  

Our kids are all breathing because of me.  At least in part.  Sure, it takes two to make a human, but I grew them, so I'm taking a little more than half the credit.  Sometimes I have to remind them that I gave them life, and what's the Cosby Show  line? "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it!"  I jest.  But somedays....  

Ross is breathing because of me too.  Literally.  I saved his life.  He owes me big time.  

I haven't completely cashed in on that one yet.  I'm saving it for something good.  Although...."Babies are crying.  Somebody needs to check on them.  Remember that time I saved your life?".....How have I not used that?!  Stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.

I saved his life almost ten years ago.  I'm pretty much his hero.  He just forgets a lot, and I have to remind him.  It's okay, I don't mind reminding him as often as I need to.  

Ross eats fast and doesn't always chew well.  I've never taken food away from him, so I'm not sure what the rush is...  "Choo, choo, choo!" is my mantra at the dinner table, and it isn't meant for the kids.  He's a good sport though.  

Anyway, the story is that Ross didn't chew his last bite of steak at a fancy restaurant.  We were with a group of his teacher friends, and when he gave the, "Oh, shoot, I'm actually choking" signal.  They let me take care of it.  Apparently, it's part of the wifely duties.  Maybe, maybe somebody else would have intervened, but they didn't.   

Turns out, the abdominal thrust is very effective.  I'm glad because I like him.  Unfortunately, the abdominal thrust also makes you barf.  Luckily, the fancy restaurant had outdoor seating and a balcony.  I'll never know how the people below fared, but Ross lived.  

Long story short - now he owes me.    

I wonder if that comes with interest?    

I'm not looking for anything fancy.  Just my own room.  A hidden room.  A room the kids don't know about that's well stocked with lots of snacks and ice cream.  Don't judge me.  A girl can dream.  

  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fear Factor

 Did you know that it has been not  scientifically proven that a baby can smell her mother's presence through a closed door.  It's probably the smell of fear that they are actually attuned to, but nonetheless.  I hold my breath and walk on tiptoe past the baby's room and still get busted nearly every time.  My fear is pungent. Besides waking the babies, I have another fear currently in the forefront of my mind.  Don't mind me, this is just another episode of True Confessions.. .  Here it is: the boys are getting so much outside time that they are building up incredible endurance.  It's great really, but it is   becoming  so hard to wear them out. It used to be an hour at the playground and we were golden.  Now, they basically put in an eight-hour workday, and it's just a warm-up!  Does anybody have a treadmill....?  Real school is going to be a bit of an adjustment for the big guy next fall.    Speaking of s...
4 comments
Read more

Reflecting

It's August. I guess I can stop waiting for that call from the Oregon Department of Education.  It appears I didn't earn teacher of the year after all.  I wonder if it had something to do with my mask policy?  It definitely could have been the mask policy.   Personally, I thought the duct tape worked great.   *Sigh* It was probably the mask policy.  You win some.  You lose some.  Better luck next year.   Speaking of next year, we are trying a hybrid homeschool program.  Sawyer gets to go to school twice a week and learn at home the other days.  I'm confident he will fall in love with his teacher in the first eight minutes.  She is young, cute and very enthusiastic.  It's going to either make him work really hard or be a complete distraction.  Either way, on the "home" days, I'm going to make her look really good.  Pajama Mama is neither young nor cute and I'm rarely enthusiastic (which may have als...
4 comments
Read more

Not Ready for Those Birds and Bees

 It's spring.  Officially.  But unofficially it's been looking a lot like spring for the last few weeks.  Trees are starting to bloom.  Wildflowers are popping up everywhere.  The birds are singing in the mornings.  Deer are running through our yard constantly, and the turkeys are everywhere.   Last week we almost hit a turkey that was in the middle of the road.  I'm usually pretty cautious but this guy was at the crest of a hill, and I couldn't see him until we were right up in his tail feathers.  It didn't help that he wasn't making any attempt to get out of the road.   "He must be hurt," I told the boys.  "It looks like he's been hit by a car.  He is acting really weird."   We crept by him in the opposite lane.  I had nothing to dispatch him with and wasn't about to use my hands, so I wasn't going to stop.   As we passed Sawyer shouted, "And he's even got another turkey under him!" Oh....
Post a Comment
Read more