It's been a week of Mondays with this crew. It turns out they were just working on getting sick. This is a blessed turn of events because I was beginning to think we were raising terrible humans, and military school isn't a viable option for four and six-year-olds. Actually, they do enroll kindergarteners. I checked. But not locally.
Maybe the whole world is getting sick. Social media...seriously, whoa. Luckily, we don't have television or tablets, and limited Internet access, so we mostly avoid it. Speaking of no screens, the boys have to find more creative ways to fill their time. The last two days they have been practicing avoiding being hit by falling trees. They were mostly successful. How about that for a sunny afternoon activity?
Their other great pastime has been building bonfires and fire pits. We now have so many burn piles around our house, I had to ban the building of any new ones. Glory of glories, we finally had a burn day this week. I thought I'd surprise them by starting one of their piles while they napped. They love fire almost as much as cutting trees. I'm embarrassed to admit how good they are at starting their own fires (with adult supervision). I'm pretty sure the four-year-old could get a wet pile started with nothing more than a toothpick and a match. Conversely, I had a box full of cardboard, paper bags, and kindling. I had diesel. I had a freaking flamethrower! I am a fire failure. I mean the cardboard burned, so that was great...Pathetic. Don't tell the boys. They would lose all respect.
Anyway, now it's pouring rain and they have sore throats - which means they are practically dying. One unforeseen (for me at least) consequence of social distancing is that the kids have barely been sick in the last year or more. They don't know how to deal with it. When they do get a drippy nose or a sore throat, you'd think the world was falling down around them.
"Do you feel bad for me, Mom?"
I finally had to get real honest, after being asked this question way too many times.
"No. It's a cold. I don't feel bad. And unless your cold has progressed into your legs, you can stop limping." And I will continue to shame them for being pathetic. Maybe they will be immune to future "man colds."
Yep, once again, killing it at this parenting gig. Let's review:
Threaten to send small children to boot camp.
Allow kids to drop trees on themselves and each other.
Allow kids to play with fire.
Give sick kids little to no sympathy.
Yep, that about covers it. Just shoot me a message if you want any other pro tips or tricks.
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