Ross and I have talked about how when a student has issues with every teacher, or an employee with every boss they've had or and athlete with every coach - it might not be the teacher or boss or coach that is the problem. I like patting myself on the back during these conversations because that's never been me. But then I heard a very convicting quote along those same lines - if everyone in your family is acting terrible at the same time, it might not be your family. Oh. Bummer.
So I might not have earned my "Mom of the Year" demerit badge today. I was most definitely not the best version of myself. Actually, I was the best version of my worst self - impatient, snarky, sarcastic, and basically finding joy in being short-tempered and a victim of the childness of our children. I tried to blame Daylight Savings, the New moon, an early wake-up call, anything but myself.
Wahwaaaaah.
That's the loser buzzer sound if you're wondering.
I was feeling pretty rotten about being a terrible person to these humans that I love beyond life, and in the midst of this, we went to get their haircut. My friend who was doing the cutting happened to ask Sawyer how his day was going. I about melted in my chair. But instead of griping about what a rough time I had given him all day, he said, "I'm having a great day! My brother and I have been working on some trees outside..." I didn't hear much more. "A great day." In spite of me, the boy was loving life. He hadn't let me ruin his joy. I was stunned, humbled, and so greatful.
I then admitted to the boys and my friend what a grouchy mom I had been most of the day. My friend's kids are older and almost out of the house, and she told me she felt like me 90% of the time as a young mom. "And you know what, my kids don't remember any of that."
And they all still speak to her.
It was some encouragement I was happy to hear today. It was also a good reminder that we need each other - moms who are currently in the trenches with us and those who have seen the light on the other side. It makes the mess we make of this momming business a little easier to swallow.
We are hopefully teaching our kids to be good humans all the while trying to become better ourselves. And by the time they are adults, if we are still on speaking terms, I'm going to call that a win!
Comments
Post a Comment