Skip to main content

Bye Bye Bambie

 I was never been the biggest fan of venison.  It was something I'd eat, but nothing I got excited about.  No longer.  Today, I look forward to the next plate of deer steak I can sink my teeth into.  Retribution!  

The stinking deer are driving me insane.  I can grow n-o-t-h-i-n-g!  Nothing. I despise them, and they taunt me.  The game's about to change.  I'm going to eat them all!  Actually, I'm just going to build a really tall fence.  But I'm going to get a lot of satisfaction out of the next venison roast as well.  

They have no sense of boundaries.  My parsley that I just babied back to life was practically inside our house when it got mowed back down to stubble.  I'm seriously ready to throw punches.  And I could, because they don't even budge when I come running after them.  I get the sideways, "what's the crazy lady up to now" look, and that's about it.  The boys give me the same look, so I had to give up chasing them with sticks while in my pajamas and muck boots.  I don't want to scare the children.  

Deer and turkeys.  We have access to plenty of protein, but no vegetables.  That's not exactly what I had in mind when I determined we should grow more of our own food.  The boys are happy with that, but I need some greens in my life.  I wouldn't mind a flower or two either.  

The garden fence is on the horizon, and I can hardly wait.  I got a trailer load of horse manure delivered today.  I seriously went to bed dreaming about it...for the last two nights.  I'm not ashamed.  Forget diamonds, the way to this girl's heart is a load of horse poop and some good dirt.  Bonus points for worms.  But seriously, do you know how much dirt you could get with a diamond? I'm having dirty thoughts.  Heh. Heh. Heh.  Sorry, I'm sorry.  It just came out.  

I'm growing way too many starts, and if a fraction of what I plant survives, I'm going to have way too much produce.  I may be looking to re-home some plants in the near future.  Stay tuned.  However, if things go south, I'm going to become a meatetarian. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tough Love

 We were on our way home from a birthday party not long ago, and Fischer began complaining from the backseat that one of the kids had tripped him and laughed about it.   Ross looked at him in the rearview mirror and responded, "Life's hard, Buddy.  You're going to have to toughen up."  To which his brother responded, "Yeah.  You have no idea.  Just wait until you're eight."  At that, they both sat back in their booster seats and contemplated their life situation for the remainder of the drive home.    Evidently, life is smooth sailing in those early single digits, but once you reach the ripe old age of, "I can mostly tie my own shoes and reach the kitchen faucet," it's all hard knocks and rough living.   I know this must be true because Sawyer also told his aunt the other day, "It's time to get on it and get myself a car.  I'm going to get a Cord Tacoma."  I think what he wanted to say, but didn't have the words  was,

All I Want For Christmas...

  Christmas time is such a fun season.  I love focusing on the birth of Jesus with the kids and recognizing the true reason for celebrating.  I also relish the magical part of the season that gives so much life to our kids' imaginations and innocents.  They are always precious, but I feel it even more so this time of year.   Even our oldest hasn't completely given up on Santa, although he has a lot more questions having been around classmates and friends who coolly deny the existence of Santa or Christmas magic.  We know it can't last forever, but I'm going to milk it for at least one more season.  He is still more or less on board.  I think he wants it to be real, so he doesn't dig too deep.  Consequently, he and his siblings were all excited for a trip to meet Santa and Mrs. Claus last weekend.  I was excited too.  I love their reactions, and last year Carter was too sick to go, so this was her first opportunity to meet Santa face to face.   The trip didn't di

Christmas Miracle

 For better or worse, I don't have a lot of pride.  I used to have some, but after the third and fourth child, what little I had vanished.  I'd like to be put together.  I would like my kids to be put together.  I have come to terms with the fact that, 99% of the time, that's not going to happen.  When we leave the house, I consider it a win if everybody has on an appropriate amount of clothing and two shoes that match.   The first time we visited the orthodontist in preparation for Sawyer's braces, I showed up with four kids in dirty play clothes and one child with mismatched shoes.  It just so happens that the orthodontist's wife is the mom of some of my former students, and she was working that day.  Luckily, I also hadn't brushed anyone's hair before we left the house, so we made quite an impression.  I've been trying to raise the bar ever since, but I seem to keep failing.  The next appointment we came straight from the barn and smelled like it, but