Skip to main content

Bye Bye Bambie

 I was never been the biggest fan of venison.  It was something I'd eat, but nothing I got excited about.  No longer.  Today, I look forward to the next plate of deer steak I can sink my teeth into.  Retribution!  

The stinking deer are driving me insane.  I can grow n-o-t-h-i-n-g!  Nothing. I despise them, and they taunt me.  The game's about to change.  I'm going to eat them all!  Actually, I'm just going to build a really tall fence.  But I'm going to get a lot of satisfaction out of the next venison roast as well.  

They have no sense of boundaries.  My parsley that I just babied back to life was practically inside our house when it got mowed back down to stubble.  I'm seriously ready to throw punches.  And I could, because they don't even budge when I come running after them.  I get the sideways, "what's the crazy lady up to now" look, and that's about it.  The boys give me the same look, so I had to give up chasing them with sticks while in my pajamas and muck boots.  I don't want to scare the children.  

Deer and turkeys.  We have access to plenty of protein, but no vegetables.  That's not exactly what I had in mind when I determined we should grow more of our own food.  The boys are happy with that, but I need some greens in my life.  I wouldn't mind a flower or two either.  

The garden fence is on the horizon, and I can hardly wait.  I got a trailer load of horse manure delivered today.  I seriously went to bed dreaming about it...for the last two nights.  I'm not ashamed.  Forget diamonds, the way to this girl's heart is a load of horse poop and some good dirt.  Bonus points for worms.  But seriously, do you know how much dirt you could get with a diamond? I'm having dirty thoughts.  Heh. Heh. Heh.  Sorry, I'm sorry.  It just came out.  

I'm growing way too many starts, and if a fraction of what I plant survives, I'm going to have way too much produce.  I may be looking to re-home some plants in the near future.  Stay tuned.  However, if things go south, I'm going to become a meatetarian. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fear Factor

 Did you know that it has been not  scientifically proven that a baby can smell her mother's presence through a closed door.  It's probably the smell of fear that they are actually attuned to, but nonetheless.  I hold my breath and walk on tiptoe past the baby's room and still get busted nearly every time.  My fear is pungent. Besides waking the babies, I have another fear currently in the forefront of my mind.  Don't mind me, this is just another episode of True Confessions.. .  Here it is: the boys are getting so much outside time that they are building up incredible endurance.  It's great really, but it is   becoming  so hard to wear them out. It used to be an hour at the playground and we were golden.  Now, they basically put in an eight-hour workday, and it's just a warm-up!  Does anybody have a treadmill....?  Real school is going to be a bit of an adjustment for the big guy next fall.    Speaking of s...
4 comments
Read more

Reflecting

It's August. I guess I can stop waiting for that call from the Oregon Department of Education.  It appears I didn't earn teacher of the year after all.  I wonder if it had something to do with my mask policy?  It definitely could have been the mask policy.   Personally, I thought the duct tape worked great.   *Sigh* It was probably the mask policy.  You win some.  You lose some.  Better luck next year.   Speaking of next year, we are trying a hybrid homeschool program.  Sawyer gets to go to school twice a week and learn at home the other days.  I'm confident he will fall in love with his teacher in the first eight minutes.  She is young, cute and very enthusiastic.  It's going to either make him work really hard or be a complete distraction.  Either way, on the "home" days, I'm going to make her look really good.  Pajama Mama is neither young nor cute and I'm rarely enthusiastic (which may have als...
4 comments
Read more

Not Ready for Those Birds and Bees

 It's spring.  Officially.  But unofficially it's been looking a lot like spring for the last few weeks.  Trees are starting to bloom.  Wildflowers are popping up everywhere.  The birds are singing in the mornings.  Deer are running through our yard constantly, and the turkeys are everywhere.   Last week we almost hit a turkey that was in the middle of the road.  I'm usually pretty cautious but this guy was at the crest of a hill, and I couldn't see him until we were right up in his tail feathers.  It didn't help that he wasn't making any attempt to get out of the road.   "He must be hurt," I told the boys.  "It looks like he's been hit by a car.  He is acting really weird."   We crept by him in the opposite lane.  I had nothing to dispatch him with and wasn't about to use my hands, so I wasn't going to stop.   As we passed Sawyer shouted, "And he's even got another turkey under him!" Oh....
Post a Comment
Read more