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Work in Progress

 I pulled a "Bobbi" yesterday.  This is when you do something awkward and embarrassing in a public setting.  Nailed it.  

I went to a birthday party for a five-year-old and saw a mom I know sitting alone.  I decided I needed to stop being an introverted dork and make an effort to say hi.  I strode over to her table and in my extra friendly I-hope-I-don't-sound-fake voice said, "Hey, it's good to see you!  How are you doing?"  At which point she made eye-contact...and I realized she was definitely not my friend.  She was, however, very confused and a little taken back.  At this point, I made the situation much less awkward by saying something about her looking like someone else, sorry I accosted you, and I was wondering where you had gotten the new kid.  

Smooth like butter.

People say the middle school years are the hardest social years.  False. In middle school I was not self-conscious at all.  I would rock pho-boxers my grandma made me under my ultra baggy boy jeans one day and a little house on the prairie dress the next.  I was just as comfortable on the basketball team as I was in the speech and storytelling club.  No shame, unaware, comfortable in my own skin, call it what you will.  Middle school was not hard.  

Try being a grown-up.  Now that's hard.  As a grown-up, I now know panty-lines are problematic, and eyebrow lines, well you should have more lines and less line. Two eyebrows.  Having a filter is also something grown-ups should have, and I have to give mine a good workout on a regular basis.  It's SO hard. (That's what she said.) Doh.  See?!  So many things to worry about!  What about social settings where you have to speak and make eye-contact on a regular basis?  How much eye contact should you make?  How much is too much?  How much is too little?  Where should I be looking?  It's so confusing!  Middle school, pshaw.  Adult years are much harder.  

I think I need a life coach.  But don't call me, I'll call you.            

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