Skip to main content

Real Deal

     Carter and Emerson were playing contentedly on the kitchen floor this evening.  That should have been my first clue that something was up.  Generally, when I'm prepping dinner, one is standing on my feet, hugging my legs while the other one is sitting on my heels.  

It makes my job easy and efficient.  

For that reason, I ignored the fact that they were very focused on the floor around the corner of the bar.  They finally caught my attention, however, when they started grunting like happy little piglets.  I took a closer look.

    For Valentine's Day dessert, I made brownies and ice cream.  I remembered seeing a drip of ice cream hit the floor, but it was chaotic trying to get everyone their desserts, then clearing dishes, getting kids to bed, etc.  I forgot about the floors.  They are sticky everywhere all the time, so it didn't feel like a huge priority.  (Don't plan on taking your shoes off, if you ever come to visit.  Our floors will literally ruin your socks.)  It takes one meal after I mop to bring them back to looking like nobody cares.  So I try not to.  It works very seldom, but I will continue to meet with my therapist on this issue.  Which reminds me, I am going to need to get a therapist.  

So you may have guessed what the girls were scraping off the floor and enjoying for their late afternoon refreshment.  I was equal parts "sick" and "you get it, Girls!"  It was ice cream after all, and they are my daughters.  Carter had just gotten done projectile vomiting on my feet, so I figured eating yesterday's dessert off the floor couldn't make things much worse.  

This is what happens to you when you have kids.  You lose all your standards, all your pride, and all of your personal space.  You make dinner with vomit on the cuffs of your jeans, let your toddlers snack off the floor, and have unidentifiable stickiness everywhere.  Plus, it's loud.  Tell your friends.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Advanced Placement

 Not to brag or anything, but I think we are raising some very advanced children.  At two-years-of-age, our girls have already worked out the art of manipulation and deflection.  It's the antithesis of endearing.   They went missing the other day - the girls did.  That's never a good situation.  They were in the house, and I knew they were in the house, but I couldn't see or hear them.  Silence is the loudest alarm system.  Fischer took action and found them both in my bathroom.   "MOM!" I met them in the hall.  Carter was covered in clumps and blobs of hand cream. "Emi did it," was her unsolicited response.   "No," I told her.  "I think you  did it." That night I got ready for bed and pulled out my one "self-care" splurge - my face cream .  It was in my drawer where I always keep it.  The lid was screwed on.  And it was empty, wiped clean.  "EmmmeerrrrrSON!" Guilty.  They were both ...

Little Bit Dicey

 This might be a little controversial.  I try to steer clear of such topics in this space, but it needs to be said.  Take it as you will, but know that it comes from a place of love, concern, and respect.  Here it is: there is a right  way to cut an onion. Now, I'm not saying this to try and get anyone's dander up.  I'm just saying it's a subject that needs to be addressed in kitchens across America.  There may be more than one right way to skin a cat (I can't say I've tested that), but the same does not hold true for onions.  Please, you can teach an old dog new tricks - learn how to properly cut an onion.  It will save you time, frustration, onion tears, and possibly a finger.     Now, since I'm still sitting here on blogspot like it's 2003, I'm not going to post any how-to videos, but I'll do the next best thing.  I'll paste a link right here .    Check it out.  Practice it.  Make it a habit.  T...

I Need A Cinderella

 I like to describe our house as very "lived in."  It sounds better than "dirty."  It is dirty.  And messy.  I clean all day long, but you'd never know.  My friend recently told me she hires a house cleaner.  It sounds dreamy, but it wouldn't work for us.  The cleaner would never be able to leave.  She'd never be done.  It's fine.  It's a phase.  Probably.   We were supposed to have guests for dinner the other week.  I know - it's a bold move inviting people over while we are in this stage of life.  Nonetheless, we did.  I was trying to get ahead of the mess while the kids were in bed and cleaned my floors the night before the dinner party.  The day of the dinner, everybody was sick so we had to postpone.   I decided I wasn't going to let a clean floor go to waste.  I was going to enjoy it for at least a weekend.  The challenge, I told myself, was simply to sweep things up after...