Stupid Cupid

 "Sawyer won't let me use his blanket," Fischer complained at bedtime.  "Even if I put it on top of my other blankets.  He says I make it stink."

Brother love.  Isn't it sweet?  

We've been talking a little more about love as we approach Valentine's Day, but Fischer keeps confusing it with Thanksgiving.  I believe he has his heart set on all-you-can-eat turkey and carbs.  He might be a little disappointed with the box of conversation hearts I got him.  

"No turkey, no rolls?!  This holiday is garbage!"  

I'm not a huge fan either, kid.  Maybe I should make the Thanksgiving dinner...

This Valentine's Day is stressing me out.  It's the first time, we've had a kid in school where Valentine's are exchanged.  I've been planning on having Sawyer make them.  Because I'm cheap.  Because it's more personal than store bought cards. (And I'm cheap.) But tonight I found out that they used up all of their colored construction paper to get a fire started.  

Yes, they are seven and five.  Yes, they were starting fires (partially) unsupervised.  They are very mature for their ages, never mind their poor grasp of holidays.  And fire keeps them occupied for hours.  Listen, they had permission to start a warming fire if they could with their flint and steel.  Those usually go out as soon as the cotton balls burn up.   

Cotton balls are great for tinder.  They also make a great gift/bribe for the boys.  Santa brought them cotton balls for Christmas this year!  They were good boys and Santa rewarded them with 300 cotton balls apiece.  It's the thing dreams are made of.  Also, did I mention their parents are cheap?

Back to the fire.  They have literally been out before the sun is up, in below freezing temperatures, the last week working on starting fires.  They don't usually have a lot of long term success.  A couple of days ago, however, they actually got one to take off.  The kindling caught and then some logs.  I was shocked.  The fires always go out before the logs catch.  They have studied Bear Grylls and for once have listened to their dad on the ins and outs of the campfire tepee style.  This time, they nailed it.  I was giving them props, and they did mention they had used a lot of paper, but I assumed paper bags - our fuel of choice.  I didn't know about the construction paper.  Until tonight.  The night before, the night before the Valentine's Day party.    

Sawyer asked what our plan was for tomorrow, and I confidently told him we would not have to leave the house.  We had no plans of going anywhere.  We just had to do school work.  "And make Valentine's," he interjected.  That's when I found out about the entire package of paper up in flames.  So construction paper hearts are out.  Sawyer is now in charge of a plan "B."  I can wait to hear what he has in mind because chances are it means more work for his very uncrafty mama.  Can we just recycle Christmas cards?  I mean, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, Christmas...are they really going to notice?  Isn't it just about the prize inside? 

Are fake tattoos a terrible idea?  Is that like giving out raisins on Halloween?  Is Sawyer's reputation about to be defined by his mom, the candy miser?  Last party, I brought the carrot sticks, and now this.  Sorry, Son, you drew the short stick and got the "not cool" mom.  

We're going to have to change schools.