Not so adventures of the St. Clair clan...

Our girls, like most four-year-old girls, love pink.  And purple.  And sparkly things, unicorns, butterflies, lizards and cats.  But especially pink.  Their brothers aren't so fond of pink.  They prefer the color dirt.  I know this because it's what they have chosen for the color of our walls, windows, light switches and their socks.   "Do you like pink?"  Emerson asked Fischer one day not long ago. "No." "Why?" "Because pink stinks !" Cue 'angry tears and screaming.' This of course delighted her brother who began using the line anytime he wanted to see her cry.  Which was often.  It didn't change her passion for the color, however.  She still demanded the pink plate, pink cup, pink shirt, pink shoes, and pink gum if she had the choice.  Because pink is the best when you're four.   Fast forward a couple of weeks.  The girls were collecting pieces of garbage off the van floor.  Why?  I don't know, b...

 People think we are raising twins, but they're wrong.  We actually have triplets: Emerson, Carter, and Carterror.  It's true.  Carterror doesn't hang around often, but when the days are long and naps have been missed, she comes out swinging.   Today, when we should have been napping, we ran errands.  We needed some grain for our cows, so before picking up the boys from school, we stopped at the feed store.  The girls spent a little time looking at all the fish, birds, and pets they have for sale.  Immediately, after telling them not to touch the tanks, Carter tried to go fishing.  That's when I realized Carterror had arrived.  I called her name to stop her and realized her shirt was exceptionally lumpy.   "What's in there?" I asked, pointing to her newly developed bosom.   "My kitty," she replied, pulling out a stuffed cat from her sweatshirt.  A minute later, we were walking down an isle of bovine parapher...

 Our girls recently had a birthday and were spoiled with all kinds of fun gifts from the grandparents, aunts, and uncles.  Toys have come a long way since we were kids.  Cupie dolls  .  Need I say more?  One gift that all the kids wanted to play with right out of the gate was a miniature kitchen aid mixer.  I couldn't blame them.  When I got the real thing, I think I used it to mix everything I ate for the first week, right down to my milk and cereal.   The girls set to work immediately, making cookies out of strips of paper, string, and water.  After a good and thorough mixing, they placed the batter in mounds on a cookie sheet and set it in the oven drawer to "bake."  It didn't take long, and they were pulling them out of the oven.  Unfortunately, I was a little slow on the draw.  I saw Emerson chewing a mouthful of red string, which she claimed was her cookie, and made her spit it out.  Carter, unfortunately, ...

 It's always risky to take a shower while the children are loose...unsupervised.  I walked out of the bathroom the other morning to be met by one three-year-old in her underwear wielding a hammer and a badminton racket while the other three-year-old was covered from fingertip to forehead in Smokey the Bear stamps.   I gave them the only logical response in that moment, "Out of my room, please."  And locked the door.   After a five minute pause, I reentered their world to learn that the tennis racket and hammer were for destroying monsters.  Naturally.  The stamps?  She just wanted them.  The big brothers?  They made their exit as soon as they heard me coming.   Kids are infinitely unpredictable.   The boys are treasure hunters as of late.  Fischer's prize: rocks.  He is confident he will discover gold, but in the meantime, pretty rocks are a close second.  He found some real gems the other day...

 For better or worse, I don't have a lot of pride.  I used to have some, but after the third and fourth child, what little I had vanished.  I'd like to be put together.  I would like my kids to be put together.  I have come to terms with the fact that, 99% of the time, that's not going to happen.  When we leave the house, I consider it a win if everybody has on an appropriate amount of clothing and two shoes that match.   The first time we visited the orthodontist in preparation for Sawyer's braces, I showed up with four kids in dirty play clothes and one child with mismatched shoes.  It just so happens that the orthodontist's wife is the mom of some of my former students, and she was working that day.  Luckily, I also hadn't brushed anyone's hair before we left the house, so we made quite an impression.  I've been trying to raise the bar ever since, but I seem to keep failing.  The next appointment we came straight from the ba...

  Christmas time is such a fun season.  I love focusing on the birth of Jesus with the kids and recognizing the true reason for celebrating.  I also relish the magical part of the season that gives so much life to our kids' imaginations and innocents.  They are always precious, but I feel it even more so this time of year.   Even our oldest hasn't completely given up on Santa, although he has a lot more questions having been around classmates and friends who coolly deny the existence of Santa or Christmas magic.  We know it can't last forever, but I'm going to milk it for at least one more season.  He is still more or less on board.  I think he wants it to be real, so he doesn't dig too deep.  Consequently, he and his siblings were all excited for a trip to meet Santa and Mrs. Claus last weekend.  I was excited too.  I love their reactions, and last year Carter was too sick to go, so this was her first opportunity to meet Santa...

 All of our kids are so different from one another.  Sometimes it takes me by surprise.  They've all been raised in a pretty similar environment, but each one has a very unique personality.   Sawyer had an early command on language.  Fischer just squeaked until he was almost three.   Fischer notices things.  He is very attuned to details.  Carter can't find her favorite sweater even when she's standing on it.   Carter had an early grasp on humor and knew she was being funny before most of our kids understood what a joke was.   Emerson is a nurturer and when she's on her own, she is probably the most responsible of all four kids.   They each have their own strengths and weaknesses, and it's interesting to see how those play out as they get older.  Recently, somebody asked me if we were going to put the girls in preschool.  My knee jerk response was, "no."  We didn't do preschool with the boys, ...

 Some friends of ours recently added a new puppy to their family.  We met him the day after they brought him home, and I asked what they named him.  "I think we are going to call him Sam," my friend responded.  She said her daughter had always wanted a boy dog named Sam.  Hearing that reminded me of when I was a kid and wanted so badly for my name to be Samantha so I could go by Sam because it was such a good tomboy name, and that resonated with me.  As an adult, I now see the irony in wanting to change my name from Bobbi  to Sam so I could sound more like a tomboy.   Bob. I wonder if Sawyer will feel the same irony when he looks back on wanting to be named Beaver  because he cuts trees and stuff like a beaver, when his actual name literally means "one who saws."  We weren't as spot on with Fischer who wanted the name "Red-hot Fire King of Wheelies."  That one was a bit of a mouthful and luckily, didn't stick around for lo...

 When Ross is away, I wouldn't say things get totally lax, but maybe a little looser than they would if I had back-up.  That's why the kids have spent the last two days throwing dirt clods at each other as a form of entertainment.  I only stop it when they start picking up rocks, logs, or there are actual tears.  I've only had to intervene once, so I feel like it's a pretty good way for them to work some things out.  I am going to have to wash sheets and children tomorrow, however, so there is a downside.   I kind of love this season.  So do the boys.  They always look forward to the change in seasons - that is from fire season to burn season, and they will likely smell like wood smoke for the next six months.  With Ross gone, I've put them both in charge of the fire in the woodstove.  It's obvious Fischer takes after his dad.  The house was so hot the first day he got the fire going, I had to open all the windows.  We let...

 We were on our way home from a birthday party not long ago, and Fischer began complaining from the backseat that one of the kids had tripped him and laughed about it.   Ross looked at him in the rearview mirror and responded, "Life's hard, Buddy.  You're going to have to toughen up."  To which his brother responded, "Yeah.  You have no idea.  Just wait until you're eight."  At that, they both sat back in their booster seats and contemplated their life situation for the remainder of the drive home.    Evidently, life is smooth sailing in those early single digits, but once you reach the ripe old age of, "I can mostly tie my own shoes and reach the kitchen faucet," it's all hard knocks and rough living.   I know this must be true because Sawyer also told his aunt the other day, "It's time to get on it and get myself a car.  I'm going to get a Cord Tacoma."  I think what he wanted to say, but didn't have the words ...

Today was the boy's last day of summer vacation, and they sent it out in style.  I hate to see it end probably as badly as they do...more actually.  Fischer is so excited for his first day of school he has been wishing these final days away.  Still, they made the most of every day this summer and today was no exception.   They went mountain biking with their dad, shot BB guns and air soft pistols, and watched their current favorite movie.  They each made a snack for school with me.  They chopped wood until the head fell off of Fischer's hatchet - then they turned it into a wedge and started creating "lumber" out of their trees.  They climbed trees.  They found the most enormous disgusting grubs I have ever seen in real life.  They also found an enormous hornets nest hanging in a tree (no injuries occurred).  They wrote thank you letters and did chores.  They played cards, harassed their sisters, ate a million snacks, showered, ...

 Bedtime with toddlers is something like a cross between a WWE wrestling match and a psychological chest game.  Parent: suggests it's time for bed. Toddler: dives under the nearest furniture.   Your move. Parent: catches a leg and pulls toddler back to starting position. Toddler: cries. Parent: walks crying child to the bathroom and readies toothbrush. Toddler: clinches mouth shut.   Parent: forces child's lips apart and scrubs front teeth until child cries out and grants access to the molars. Toddler: Refuses to pee in the toilet.   Parent: suggests child needs to wear a diaper tonight. Toddler: pees, runs naked back into the living room. Parent: chases child back to the bedroom. Toddler: Hides under the bed. Parent: chooses the wrong pajamas several times before choosing the right pajamas and coaxes child from under the bed. Wresting match ensues as pajamas are donned.   Parent: "Pick a book." Toddler: searches for several minutes and ...

 Summer is cruel.  All I want, is to be outside all day and for it to never end.  I don't feel like I'm asking too much.  Life is just a little sweeter when Ross isn't working away from home and the kids aren't in school.  It's not over yet, and we are still living the good life, but our days are numbered.  I went grocery shopping the other day and saw Halloween decorations.  The writing is on the wall.   We have been making the most of every day.  My summer school work aspirations have hardly been achieved, but the kids have been learning and experiencing so much.  For example, they have all taken their swimming skills to the next level, and we have learned that Carter is especially fond of the water - so add that to the list of things we have to worry about with her.   Carter has also shown us that she is very proficient at finding keys to the vehicles, and she knows exactly where they should go once in the vehicle....

After the never ending winter, it became summer, then finally settled into spring.  We are currently making up for lost time and spending all the daylight hours outside.  I should probably come in and clean the house at some point, but I think I'll wait until summer rolls back around and it's too hot to be outside.   The kids have recently reached some new mile stones.  The boys are becoming readers and are learning all kinds of new words they aren't allowed to say...they are also becoming better workers and helpers than ever.  We seem more or less past "survival mode" with the twins and can finally start soaking in all the fun parts of the toddler stage.   It's not all smooth sailing though.  It's still dangerous to take a bathroom break in the middle of the day.  Carter decided to help herself to the maple syrup when I did that this week.  A solid 6oz flooded her plate, found it's way down the table, a dining room chair and onto t...

The girls licked raw bacon off their hands today.  They were helping me cook, and after placing strips of bacon in the pan, they both immediately began licking their fingers.  Nobody is throwing up yet...except for me.  That was gross.  Yesterday, I saved Carter from shoving a metal paintbrush tip into an electrical outlet.   Two days ago they redecorated their room...aka, dumped everything they owned onto the floor.   I guess we aren't completely out of the woods with those two after all.   Focus on the positive.   Baseball.  The kids all love baseball.  The boys love playing it and the girls love watching, or at least they love going and having access to the snack bag.  That may also be what motivates they boys, come to think of it.  Team snacks are insane.   When I was growing up playing soccer, we ran for 45 min, took a 5min break to suck down a couple of orange slices, then ran around for anot...

 Sawyer wore out his first BB gun.  The tip literally blew off the thing.  He tried to replace it with various other pellet guns, but nothing quite stood up to the abuse like his trusty Red Ryder.  After months of saving and decision making, he finally made the leap to buy a replacement.  To say he is in heaven, is an understatement.  He couldn't fall asleep last night.  He hasn't stopped talking about the quality of the gun.  His exuberance is palpable.   "Mom!" he exclaimed last night after shooting his first 100+ rounds. "I'm so glad I got this gun, and just in time for lizard season!"  He and his brother went through 500 more BBs today, and let me tell you, lizard season  has been quite a success!  The chickens couldn't be happier.  Nothing goes to waste. Sawyer's excitement for lizards can only be matched by Emerson's love of "wormies."  And "wormie" season is also upon us.  She spends extensive time di...

 I decided today was the day I was taking back my house!  Hold your applause.   I'll tell you right now what that was: a pipe dream.  Show me the woman who got her house cleaned while her children were in it, and I'll show you a liar.  Unless she first duct taped them to their chairs.  Then maybe.   Our girls have been on a bit of a tear.  They dumped every toy receptacle and half the game closet in their room over the course of this weekend.  I'm not sure why.  I'm not sure there was a "why."  They accomplished half of their mayhem during bedtime and the other half while I ignored them and took a minute outside, so that's on me.   The game and craft closet has been spilling into the hall for close to a week now anyway.  It needed some attention.  The trail from the closet to the girl's room made it unavoidable.  The darlings also managed to spill craft supplies from the closet to the garage door....

 "Good morning, Carter!  I've been missing you this morning!"  I told my late riser as I scooped her up for a good morning hug.  I turned to her sister, who had been up with the sun, "Were you missing her too, Emerson?" "Not much."  Well, you can't fault her honesty.   Honesty is like a three-year-old's super power.   "Mama, I have a big belly?" Carter asked me tonight.   "You do have a big belly." "You have a big belly too." Thanks, kid.  The difference is, a) I didn't ask, and b) toddler big bellies are cute. "You need to eat your dinner," I countered.   She looked at her plate then looked at me.  "It's not my favorite."   I mean, at least she's polite.  The boys are also learning the good and the ugly of truth telling toddlers.  They can't get away with anything.  It's like I have my own personal set of spies.  I'm milking this season for all it's worth.   Hmmmmm...

I had to take a leave of absence from my computer because it was making me mad.  I think we have reached an understanding.  At least temporarily.  So here we are.   We have had a lot of "life" happen in the last month or so, but it's hard to nail it all down in a blog post.  Mostly, I think it's growing pains.  Our boys are growing out of the little boy stage and are pushing to find that next set of boundaries.  The girls are no longer babies.  They are owning the toddler stage entirely now.  It's weird.  I'm still deciding if I like it or not.   Because I still think of them as babies, I am beginning to realize we might be giving the girls too much freedom to be sassy.  In all too obvious ways, it's starting to bite back.   Recently, they have been keeping each other awake at bedtime telling each other off.   "Carter, you rude!" "No!  I not rude, you so rude!" No, I not!  You so rude!" A...

 We met a group of friends for a playdate/mom date today, but before we left the house Fischer urgently asked me to send one of the mom's a text.  So I did: C an you ask your son to bring his handcuffs today?   After all, how can you play cops and robbers without handcuffs?  At the playdate, we concluded that this is the only phase in their lives where that request isn't weird.   The kids played hard and loud for two hours.  It was exactly what the doctor ordered after seemingly endless days of snow and rain.  While the kids played, the ladies and I went ahead and solved all the world’s problems.  You're welcome for that.  Then we gathered up our various offspring and headed back to reality.     Sawyer and Fischer sped through their school work.  The outdoors were calling.  They then had to re-do their school work because speeding doesn't actually get it done faster if you don't do it right.  Life lessons are har...